Expert: awhitecloud - 8/18/2011

Question
So my husband and i have been together for almost six years, married for one of those years. He comes from a conservative family and has always only been interested in vanilla sex. The most i have ever gotten him to do was to tie my hands together or blindfold me, and that was only a handful of times. He does not seem very interested in bdsm.  I'm not sure if it's that he really isn't interested or that he feels stupid. I always practically beg him to talk dirty to me and he almost always ignores me he says that he feels stupid. Sex isn't always great for me because i feel unfulfilled. Don't get me wrong, i love him, and most of the time the sex is okay but there is still something missing. anyways so how do i breach this subject with him. i"m afraid it will just make me sound like a freak. also, every time i try to talk to him about sex he gets upset and says i'm being mean to him. Thats not my intention. I'm always just trying to make things better, maybe open his eyes....anyways any advice u can give me will help, thanks for reading !

Answer
maybe you need to join www.fetlife.com and sit with him and read some of the groups, and allow him to explore with out feeling stupid, maybe once he sees how many people like and or enjoy this he would view it differently.

And maybe you need to talk with him and say this is not about making you feel stupid or to put you down in any manner, but here is a list of things i enjoy and might it be okay for us to work on them happening once in a while?

that way you are not playing him into a field where he needs to defend himself at all.  Ask him if there is anything you can do for him?  Give him a massage or something or even a BJ each morning, as a payback for what he can do for you.

maybe he would like you to wear certain clothing, you need to give back it is a two way street.  If a man can not get something out of it, they are less likely to take part in things.

Just some ideas, I honestly do not really know, you just need to be open and honest with him.

I hope this helped some and sorry for my delay in getting back to you.

Tanks for the question.

awhitecloud