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Ben Martin wrote at 2012-02-05 19:38:03
First, I'd encourage you to take a step back and assess what motivates your interest in a Master-slave relationship.  If you're doing this to try and "get the girl," then it isn't going to work.  In the simplest terms, being a Dominant (and a Master is a heightened form of dominance) means doing what you want (within the bounds of sanity, safety and the boundaries negotiated with your partner).  If exercising control isn't something you want -- for you -- then it will be frustrating to both of you and ultimately collapse.



If it is something you want, then it's important to understand what the terminology means to your potential partner (and to you).  From most people's perspective, a Master-slave dynamic is a relationship where authority and control are consensually transferred.  However,  within that broad definition you need to define what it is that falls within your authority:



*  Do you simply control kinky activities and sex within the bedroom?

*  Do you have authority over all aspects of your relationship including the structure of the relationship, social activities, chores, etc.?

* Do you have authority over your partner's decisions, including whether she works, goes to school, which people she socializes with, etc.?



Once you have a clear sense of what you control, the next set of questions surrounds how you exercise that control.  



* Are you more interested in process (such as how she cleans the bathroom) or results (that the bathroom remains clean)?

* Do you see value in the use of protocols, rituals and rules?

* What is your management style?

* How will you teach, promote and ensure the behavior you want (does it include punishments? rewards? or simply clearly articulating expectations?)?

* What is your communication style?



There is a lot involved in forging and managing a power-based relationship.  Be sure it's something you want, and -- if it is -- that you both have consistent and compatible expectations and goals.


Dream Girls wrote at 2015-04-19 01:53:34
If you're looking for an alternative, check us out at Dream Girls.com.



Subliminal mp3s ought to do the trick.


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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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