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Question
I have an old girlfriend who has been in the life for a while, she is a slave, and desperately wants me to be her master! I have no clue of what or how to go about it, I take pride in my sexual abilities and failure, or substandard performance as a Master, is not an option. I think it will come naturally, once I can find out what to do, thanks in advance.

Answer
Continuation...

Dominance is as much an act of the mind as anything physical. You must first can control yourself before you can control another.  Fears, passions and excesses must all be messaged and managed. When you control yourself then you can project this beyond yourself. Infuse the mind of the other, now a big part of this is changing the situations and conditions of the subject of your domination while establishing the sole sense of stability being your constancy.


Pleasure

The best online resources are:

http://www.punishmentbook.org (Punishment handbook)
http://www.leathernroses.com (good general lifestyle site)
http://www.fetlife.com (good forum for idea exchange but NOT a crusing site)
http://bestslavetraining.com/ (slave training)

From here you should be able to build your own references. Other than  this go to a couple local munches and talk to more experienced doms. This lifestyle has a heavy sexual component to it in many cases but do not think that sexual prowess is a guarantee of Mastery. There is a heavy psychological component and many other aspects to it that clearly come to play/

Aramock Nanuck
Master and Mentor

BDSM

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Master Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle but I am more Pharoanic than Gorean bent. I may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa, we tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharoanic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household and had a number relations with Domtrix who shared my assets, or with other Master's where we pooled resources. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of a bout 15 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant

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