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BDSM/Dominant? Submissive?

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Question
Hello!
I've been in a relationship with a man for about a year. A while ago he approached me about being submissive and we started exploring it. I have read up on it and enjoy dominating him very much. However, my pleasure derives strictly from that fact that it gives him pleasure. He loves being dominated, and I love dominating him because it's what makes him happy. Would that make me actually submissive? I don't enjoy the act of domination at all, as such. I like to be in control of things, I like to do everything. I don't like anything done to me, I don't like to be made to do things, humiliated, or on the receiving end of anything. I like to organize everything, tell him what to do in sex, tell him where we're going to go on our date.

But I don't feel like I'm doing it for 'dominant' reasons. I'm doing it because I just love to do everything to please him, to make everything easier for him. I DON'T like to be overtly dominated, while he does. I like to explicitly take care of everything to please him, rather than myself. I like to control to bring pleasure to others who are submissive. I'm confused whether I'm dominant or submissive.

Thank you for your answer,
Yvonne

Answer
I would have to say that your a dom, you are in control even if it is in making him happy.  You are the head of it all, and thus all Doms need to please your sub as part of taking care of him. Part of the duty of the Dom is to please and honor and care for their subs in all aspects.  But you gain some satisfaction from it all. And yes Doms do things some could say where sub like, but Doms are human as well they need to do things to care of another. We all have ups and downs and we all most find our own ways in the D/s world and it is for each relationship to take what works for them and leave the rest for others that might enjoy it.

Thank you for the Question, it was a good one, well no question is a bad one. Please come back if you have more.

Awhitecloud

BDSM

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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