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Question
I'm currently a single teen studying at university. I haven't had a relationship in over year and honestly I'm becoming very frustrated and lonely. I want some kind of serious relationship but i know i would be dissatisfied if this didn't involve being with someone who was dominant in the bedroom. I don't want to openly proclaim I'm looking for someone with those tastes, since honestly I'm quite new to the experience. But I'm worried even if i find someone that I'd potentially like to be in a relationship with it'd be hard to find out their sexual tastes prior to actually "trying them out" so to speak.
I've signed up to some websites specializing in matching up subs to domes but people that have contacted seem to expect me to be a slave 24/7 which isn't what I'm looking for. I just like being bound and dominated.
I guess I'm asking if there's another way of meeting someone, and either knowing what they're into (do you guys have special signs? I realize this could sound a little ridiculous) or a specific place i could look? My experiences online so far have been less than encouraging, despite stating my preferences and outlining exactly what kind of relationship I'd be prepared for.
My main concern is that I'd have to trust someone before i put myself in any intimate situations with them, is this normal for subs or they usually expected to obey from the off-set?
Sorry i have quite limited experience in this area, any response at all would be great. Thank you.

Answer
I can so understand your experiences with the on line community. It is that most want you to prove your a sub, but that is not the correct way to do things.

I would tell you to go to www.fetlife.com and look for real people in your area.  Find groups as well events to attend and to get to know some face to face people in the community. Get involved in munch groups and build yourself with face value not on line.  It does not mean it will be all different. As there are a lot of people out there that think it is all about sex and that you should not hold values as a sub. I will not go against my values and it makes it hard at time even inside the active local community.  But stay true to yourself and do not lower yourself, in time you will find the right person that will value you for who and what you are.

Thank you for the question and I wish you all the luck in the world.

awhitecloud  

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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