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Dear Master S
I am new to BDSN, have a partner who claims to be sadistic not a Dom... We had a rough play for hours,  I never reached an orgasm, he neither, he made me say the safe word coz I literally had my body bleeding. We stopped, had some rest when he started again... I froze then after ran to bathroom where collapsed in heavy crying... I was devastated & hurt coz during whole play he didn't show any support, any encouraging any affection after it. What's worse he didn't even try to help me while I was crying... he got scared himself & started protecting himself by blaming me...
After when we talked and I asked him why he refused to show any concern, any care any help his answer was only that he's sadistic... Dies it mean that sadists never help their masochists?
I don't know if I have to be pleased to serve him but I am not. It feels as I was abused... my trust betrayed.
I like pain but it has to be pleasurable pain, not suffering for the sake of enduring pain for the sadistic partner.
I realised that I am not going to get any support from him and actually I have no desire to continue anything with him.
I want to know if my feeling shows that I am not truly submissive... I am totally confused. I want to enjoy pain & rough play when he wants me to suffer only. After we talked he stated that if anything happens again it has to be his way, and he failed to explain what it means. My first reaction was that I wouldn't let him even touch me any more... And now I don't know if I am right. Another thing does not help at all, he loves to bully me using my taboo, something like next time when I am tied & gaged so I can't use the safe word he would pee on me (and its my taboo)... do anything he wants...
I am so confused. Help me please.

Mag

Answer
mag:

After care is an essential part of any session; more so if damage (i.e.: bleeding) occurs.  For him to not undertake this shows a complete lack of experience and concern for others.  I write extensively on this subject in a number of forums.

http://www.collarme.com/personals/m/de/journal.htm

I would suggest you look for another master/ sadist.  Anyone who does not care for his objects will never be there in a time of crisis and your safety becomes seriously at risk.

Sorry, if you have more questions simply ask.

BDSM

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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