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BDSM/Trouble calling him Sir

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Question
I've new to bdsm. I think the issue I'm having is due to my past marriage.  I'm a woman in my 40's why just a year ago divorced a very verbally and emotionally abusive man. After 20years I was still "doing what I was told". And this was NOT a bdsm relationship just a jerk with anger issues. I went through a year of coda (codependency) counseling to finally leave this man. Insecurities and lack of self confidence keep me with him as long as I was.   

I've met a new man I'm now living with. Dated for 6 months and have had an awesome awesome sex life. We are perfect for each other and he takes SUCH good care of me. He treats me like a queen and says it's his job to care for me. He's perfect for me.  He's recently introduced me to very light bdsm and so far I like it. A year ago I'd of said absolutely NO to someone spanking me and now love getting them during sex.

So here's my dilemma:  I am eager to slowly go further.  He wants me to call him master and sir during sex which I do...but only when I've been drinking.  I can do the sir sober but it's a bit harder. He wants me to call him sir outside the bedroom (but only in private) and I have but it's so hard to get out of my mouth and it's it's frustrating me.  I want the relationship that he wants. I don't have a problem with being his sub as I want it also. But it's so hard for me to come out and say it. It feels like I'm standing naked in front of thousands of people when I do it.  Is this something that I just need to do and it will get easier in time? He says it's because I don't trust him fully yet.  I do trust that he's not going to ever take advantage of me or hurt me like my ex.  I really do. So this shouldn't be an issue for me still.

Answer
You need to talk with him about this. I can call mine Sir but to use the word Master will never happen. I have issues with it and have always had trouble with the word master.

But some do and it is something I get but for myself if you honestly are a sub and in love with the man it happens easier it seems.

Other then that I am not sure at all what to tell you. It is something that you need to work out with him and see if you can come up with something that works for you both.

Awhitecloud

BDSM

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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