i have been in a heterosexual M/s relationship for nearly a year ( my first ), we met online and met r/t around 6 months ago and since then have had seven all day training sessions.He is a lot more experienced than me but so far has not used me fully although He is training me for oral use and has used plugs to stretch me anally.
I have respectfully asked Him why, He insists that He does not have any problems, although He has never been fully erect during oral training and states that as a slave i should not have any expectations and that He will use me as He sees fit
This was a few months ago and He has still not progressed the relationship any further.i cannot ask him again but was wondering if this was normal in a M/s relationship
i would be grateful for any advice
Hi, Joanne, thanks for writing...
There is no "normal" in any relationship whether it is vanilla or kinky. You are just to folks trying to get through life the best you can and you have discovered the value in relating in an authority based relationship.
I'm 68. I also write books on sexuality. From lots of conversations with lots of experienced women, I am coming to believe that most men are lousy in bed and have various kinds of hangups, mostly psychologically-based. The fact that he will not speak openly to you is much more serious than any possible erectile dysfunction that he may have. Before someone can master another he or she must first master themselves. Part of self-mastery includes the ability to communicate clearly to others not only your needs and wants but also your emotions.
If he has established a relationship with you where you do whatever he wants and are not permitted to ask questions about his orders or instructions, then it seems to me that you either stay with such a relationship or you find a master who is more communicative and open. If sexual intercourse is a major aspect of a relationship for you and he is not willing to give you sexual intercourse, then you're probably with the wrong partner.
I generally list three rules of an MS relationship:
1) don't hurt your partner
2) communicate openly and fully
3) be sure your both having fun
You and he may wish to read my book: "Master/slave Relations: handbook of theory and practice". it might help you get on the same page.
So far as communications are concerned, I would refer you to my third book on master slave relations: "Master slave relations: communications 401 – – the advanced course". That book will give you many strategies for speaking with him.
I wish you the very best with him and with your relationship and hope it turns out well.
In leather heart and spirit,