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BDSM/local service in a LD M/s relationship

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Question
Hello,

My Mistress/sadist and I are in loving and nurturing long distance BDSM relationship [for 3 years now]. We do get to meet for days at a time throughout the year, but here are times when 4 to 6 months can span our visits.  Our love and affection comes first, and our D/s lifestyle exists only with each other. I'm not submissive around other Dominants at all.  Not sure thats relavent but somehow it might be, not sure.   

She brought up an interesting thought last night on Skype, and that was to find a local person or couple here in my area to help her with carrying out her instructions with me, and/or to be her local enforcer should a punishment be needed, etc.

The couple would be a Mistress and her male sub, or just a male {service top], etc.

Anyway, is there a term for this type of local involvement to help a LD mistress with her submissive in-between the visits?

I know this likely exist but haven't been able to research the subject.

Your thoughts are appreciated.

Thank you.

Answer
steve

The term is is disassociative ownership, what it effectively means a disconnected relationship with your domme who has control but must exercise it loosely.  It requires far more disciple (not punishment but personal adherence to rules) that other forms because the remote control aspects make it more difficult to react to wrong doings immediately.

Now the fundamentals of such a situation is that all aspects of the activities must be predefined, and the use of texting or email must be pervasive so that control is immediate and responsive. Also no action must ever be initiated by you but simply a response to the instructions of your domme or her surrogate.  In all cases of question of authority your domme's instructions come first and supersede anything the others give you.  Your own pleasure should almost be none existent without the clear permission of your domme. So even wanting to participate sexual with another, needs her prior approval and if she says you must ask (text) first before you cum... so be it.

This is the start of a very complex situation and one I do not envy you or your domme.  If you have more questions just ask.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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