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me and my partner are both married to others ( whom arent open or willing to experimentation... but we both have children and dont want to injury our families.. that being said.. weve been seeing each other about a year.. and we started out vanilla... but we branched off very quickly.. we are amazingly open with each other.. we have regular, oral and anal sex.  squirting, toys, and he has found an infatuation with fisting.. we are learning there.. during our experiments he/ we noticed that hes likes punishing me spanking.. seeing what i can handle and i love everything he does.. and will do anything he asks... so how do we learn this.. how do we start this.. feels silly asking but we have enjoyed everything soo much that we want more.. thanks for any help.. and if theres a site or book or something please say.. please any help is appreciated

Answer
Well, I would first recommend that you let your respective spouses know about your affair, as you are creating a polyamorous lifestyle - and that may be unappreciated (or surprisingly accepted). If that is somehow impossible or already done, my book recommendations for this particular situation are:

http://www.amazon.com/Different-Loving-Sexual-Dominance-Submission/dp/0679769560
http://www.amazon.com/Sm-101-A-Realistic-Introduction/dp/0963976389/ref=pd_sim_b
And last but not least: Diary of an S&M Romance, by Dollie Llama.

Joining a social networking site may be helpful, such as Fetlife. Consider also looking for information about BDSM and polyamory on the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom's website: https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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