BDSM/married but sub to another
McKensie wrote at 2012-03-26 17:57:15
Thank you so much for your answer. To answer your questions, yes I have my own independent income, I have always been able to take care of myself. A def wants me to stay in his life he fears the tought of someone else "hurting me". B owns his own house and is self supporting, I definently love A and have no wish for divorce. I finally told A about the situation he reacted so negatively I ended up lying as to how many times and glossed over how "deep" we went into it. Now I am working to convince my husband why I need this in my life. He keeps offering to "beat me" lol. He tries to understand but he really doesn't. I've tried to explain why I don't see him and really don't want to see him in that role. I have made a mess of things. My Dom understands comlpetely and is simply waiting while I sort out this mess. He has offered to speak to my husband and they have been around each other several times since it came out. I just want A to undrestand and not feel threatened by my need for submission with B. This is such a mess.
mckensie wrote at 2012-05-03 18:49:08
I figured for anyone else who find themselves in this circumstance I would update. I have been in this dual relationship for 8 mths now. I have finally recently come clean about it to my husband. We are working through what this means for us all. Mostly both men are waiting to see what I need. It's not a good position to be in as someone once said you cannot serve two Masters. I can only hope that a compromise can be achieved but only time will tell. If there was not constant communication between all parties I am certain the outcome would be very bad by now. I can honestly say at this point I am uncertain as to which path I would choose if I didn't have small children involved. If my husband chooses to forbid me from BDSM well.... I just don't know that I can walk away from my Dom. If you are in this position I do not envy you at all.
McKensie wrote at 2012-08-02 21:27:16
Hey Bob just posting a followup for any who find themselves in this situation. I have separated from my husband and I am still seeing my Dom. My husband and I are taking things slowly (he is a recovering alcoholic as well so there are other issues). I am working on developing my life. I have never felt so free as I am now. I have my house and my space and my peace... My Dom would want to further our relationship and I am aware of that but he has been respectful of where I am in my life at this moment. My husband has a very hard time letting me go, but I am more proud of myself then I have ever been. I chose me and gave myself permission to live a life that may not be societies normal but feels perfect for me at this point in time. I encourage any person who finds themselves at a crossroad to meditate on what they want regardless of any others feelings or expectations.
subtoanothermaster wrote at 2015-03-27 08:36:46
Oh boy....wow. This is what I am going through now. Ouch. I cannot express how much pain I am in. Did I say ouch???