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McKensie wrote at 2012-03-26 17:57:15
Thank you so much for your answer.  To answer your questions, yes I have my own independent income, I have always been able to take care of myself.  A def wants me to stay in his life he fears the tought of someone else "hurting me". B owns his own house and is self supporting, I definently love A and have no wish for divorce.  I finally told A about the situation he reacted so negatively I ended up lying as to how many times and glossed over how "deep" we went into it.  Now I am working to convince my husband why I need this in my life.  He keeps offering to "beat me" lol.  He tries to understand but he really doesn't.  I've tried to explain why I don't see him and really don't want to see him in that role.  I have made a mess of things.  My Dom understands comlpetely and is simply waiting while I sort out this mess.  He has offered to speak to my husband and they have been around each other several times since it came out.  I just want A to undrestand and not feel threatened by my need for submission with B.  This is such a mess.


mckensie wrote at 2012-05-03 18:49:08
I figured for anyone else who find themselves in this circumstance I would update.  I have been in this dual relationship for 8 mths now.  I have finally recently come clean about it to my husband.  We are working through what this means for us all.  Mostly both men are waiting to see what I need.  It's not a good position to be in as someone once said you cannot serve two Masters.  I can only hope that a compromise can be achieved but only time will tell.  If there was not constant communication between all parties I am certain the outcome would be very bad by now.  I can honestly say at this point I am uncertain as to which path I would choose if I didn't have small children involved.  If my  husband chooses to forbid me from BDSM well.... I just don't know that I can walk away from my Dom.  If you are in this position I do not envy you at all.


McKensie wrote at 2012-08-02 21:27:16
Hey Bob just posting a followup for any who find themselves in this situation.  I have separated from my husband and I am still seeing my Dom.  My husband and I are taking things slowly (he is a recovering alcoholic as well so there are other issues).  I am working on developing my life.  I have never felt so free as I am now.  I have my house and my space and my peace... My Dom would want to further our relationship and I am aware of that but he has been respectful of where I am in my life at this moment.  My husband has a very hard time letting me go, but I am more proud of myself then I have ever been.  I chose me and gave myself permission to live a life that may not be societies normal but feels perfect for me at this point in time.  I encourage any person who finds themselves at a crossroad to meditate on what they want regardless of any others feelings or expectations.


subtoanothermaster wrote at 2015-03-27 08:36:46
Oh boy....wow. This is what I am going through now. Ouch. I cannot express how much pain I am in. Did I say ouch???


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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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