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Carmesine wrote at 2013-01-11 17:09:10
Hi Taylor



Let me tell you from more than 10 years relationship and a lot of frustrating experiences in my early years that it is very special to click with another BDSM person like you two did. Many may tell you they like suffocating or be suffocated but the way people do things make it completely different. Let him say he doesn't want to stick to only one person but I am not so convinced he does in the long run. If one of us finds his or her perfect match we simply have to stay with them or miss later. When I started out to find a partner in my early 20s I was shocked how big the differences even in only one kink can be. I wish somenone had prepared me.



And yes, I think, you two were into BDSM. From the second time but of course you could call me oldschool ;)



Don't be too worried. You are not too readable for others. Dominant people have to be very good readers of body language, voice and good listeners as well. They are responsible for you when you are tied, when they 'inflict' pain to your body. Imagine one would lose temper and in the heat of the moment scar your face for good... They have to be in control, they have to know. It's what makes them a real doms. It's what makes them trustworthy. If you were my little sister or best friend your guy is the person I would want you to be with to be safe. Plus it sure makes your experience best. Let me again tell you that he's special. Not every person calling themselves in control are safe and experienced, unfortunately.



The 'bad' thing, well. You'll have to find out what it means to him in particular. From the outside and what you describe I would think he's flirting with the being bad. Just as you love to be his counterpart, 'good'. A lot of people enjoy the black/white game. One represents light, one darkness. One the hero and the other one the big bad boss and so on. It's natural and beautiful. Connected contraries =3 .



I don't know if it's what others may call the subspace but I had some experiences of that trance like state and from all I know, yes, that is something. Total peace. Letting lose insinde.



I personally from what I read think in terms of safety he knows exactly what he does. And the same goes for you enjoying yourself in my opinion.

For doing what he feels like, I am also positive. He as a dominant has to make sure you are okay (just think of the suffocating, he has, in every second!) but still he seems to make the both of you satisfied. If you hadn't liked suffocation or beating or dirty talk he probably would have found another way to turn you both on. From my point of view these both things for a talented multitasker can go together quite well.



I like the fact you wrote you want to enter BDSM and this you want to do with him not someone else. My advice is that you go the way with him as long as you two want to. I needed so much time before I found my partner let me tell you a last time the way you two clicked is really special. That he felt it like you I read out of the fact he asked you if it was your first time and if you really like what he does. It's an indicator someone likes it himself and has to make sure you really do aswell.

As a dominant he will probably lead anyway. He has the bigger experience, he is dominant, he will tell you the way, I am pretty sure. If he wants let him.



For him not wanting to commit in a normal vanilla way... As I said in the beginning I am not so sure of that. It's really, really hard to find your counterpart and if it happens no one can run. That is my experience. The fact that you already wrote it would be okay not to commit monogamic makes it even easier.



If you are not too sure he knows that you would want to be in some kind of realationship with him you could suggest that you never would want a relationship with any other person. But if he'd want you'd be in ;) Something like that maybe.



I hope I could help a little. You two have fun =3


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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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