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Question
I just met a guy and he has been straight forward with me from the very beginning that he wants me to be his "master", he wants to be my dog. As this is VERY new to me, since I have never experienced anything of the sort I would like some advice, comments on how I get into this. I am Very open to the idea for I've never liked "vanilla." I just don't want to seem awkward or ruin his fantasy, desires.

Answer
Bobbie -

I apologize for the delay in responding.  I had replied a few days ago, but it somehow didn't post.

It's good that you know you don't like vanilla.  The questions is:  what do you like?  Rather than starting from the point of now wanting to ruin his fantasy, you should be sure (especially as the Dominant) the relationship dynamic is what works for you.  I assure you:  if you're not into it, it will be frustrating, disappointing and unfulfilling for you - and won't do it for him.


There are many non-vanilla relationship structures and many types of Power based relationships. They can focus on service, obedience, humiliation, kinky sex, worship, etc. there is no right answer - but there is a right answer for you.

So the first question for you to consider is: do you want a dog slave? You may find him attractive, interesting and engaging - but not want a relationship centered on that kind of dynamic.

If it is something that interests you, then the next set of questions  for you to consider are: what do you want out of it? How do you get what you want?  You might like the idea of having someone to objectify - having your pup eat out of a bowl,led on a leash, and told to fetch. If your interests are more sadistic, then you could consider things like choke or shock collars, disciplining your "disobedient" pup. If structure and training are your thing, you could set up an obstacle training course, house break him, and train him to commands.  For ideas you can look at and adapt actual dog training manuals. Or you can find others in the lifestyle that share your interests. I know both IML and MAL have areas for pup play - complete with dog treats.

The best answer, however, is to take what you need, want and like and adapt it to this type of dynamic.

Enjoy,

Ben

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Ben Martin

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Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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