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Michael wrote at 2013-10-18 19:31:53
Are the tasks reasonable? You mention she works, has kids to take care of, etc. are you focusing on tasks related to the needs at hand (like cooking or bathing the kids), or are you adding unrelated and frivolous things?



Answer : No, the tasks are not related to "everyday" life.



Example of task given : Send 3 Text messages with / or involving sex.

Example 2 : Write 5 pages (A6 size) in your notebook containing sexual fantasies or turn-ons.



Are you providing clear expectations of what you want done and when? You might mean "today" and she thinks "when you can get to it"

Answer : I keep it to only 1 task a day, sometime if we have some time off, 2 tasks.

No tasks should take 10-15 minutes to complete.



In the household we are "equal", meaning that we have decided that our BDSM style shoulndt affect our "normal" life, specially around the kids.



The tasks are written in a journal/calendar, with a expected "time completed".

Example : "Write 3 calendar the day, you must complete this before the we are both off from work.

(We both have jobs where we can take breaks when we need/want).



Are you giving her praise when she accomplishes a task?

Answer : YES !  She is given a lot of praise, sometimes she is given gifts to show my appreciation.



Are you modifying or eliminating tala that just aren't feasible?

Answer : Yes, sometimes I do realise that a task given is too much and correct or remove it entirely.



Thank you for the answers so far.


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Ben Martin

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Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

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Black Rose

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My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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