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Question
I am currently involved in and online, M/s relationship, and I am having issues in addressing my Master respectfully. It's not so much that I intend to be that way, it just sometimes comes off that way. I mean for example I would be chatting online with him, and I'd do it in the middle of working on an assignment, and I might neglect the fact that anything referring to me is under case, and anything to him is referred to as upper. Not because I intend too, but between working on school, I just might,he requires the ability to talk to me anytime he likes. Sometimes I might phrase stuff that might sound disrespectful too....any suggestions?

Answer
Megan,

I am going to give you advice you might not like to hear, but you need to understand it really is for the best..

The ability to talk to you when ever should come after work/and or school. You need to be able to finish your degree or if you are still in high school you need to get your diploma.. This is real life we are talking about and work and or school along with family always comes first.. Now if you were in a live in relationship he would give you the time you need to finish this work so why he doesn't insist on you getting your work done either while he is off line or before coming on line is beyond me.. His first concerns should be to make sure if anything were to happen to him you have the ability to take care of yourself.

Now with that being said. I am not a big fan of the upper/lower case system, or the whole W/we for that matter, but I know some Doms need this to feel more Dommy towards each other. So I understand it is still practice esp through online relationship. I would suggest for you to be able to remember your place and when talking to him you simply take out the me/i/myself and so forth.

An example would be.

This girl ask Master if he would please allow his slave the pleasures of his company this evening. Your girl really needs to have some time with the one who owns her heart.

You no longer allow the use of me I i an so forth.. One you also will make you stop and think before posting something.. You will also learn after a while that you no longer forget to lower case your letters.. Although I will warn you, if you find yourself referring to this girl, this slave, your slave or what ever outside of chatting with your Master you should always use pencil while writing papers or make sure you reread what you write before you send it in or hand it in..

The longer you use third person, the easier it will be for you to see where and why it is you think you are disrespecting him as well. Cause during this time you learn it is not about you, and you are always making sure you remember you are the submissive/slave in the relationship.

You can also ask your Master to change your name to girl until you are used to using it, or anything else he thinks will help you with what it is you are going through.

And last but not least, you need to talk to your Master in order for him to know you feel you need to work on this.. You might find he already has a idea on what needs to be done or you might find he doesn't see a issue.. Submissive tend to be harder on themselves than their owners. Although you need to remember it comes down to how he feel about how you are behaving. So you need to let he decide if you are being disrespectful or not.

Good luck and I hope you get everything worked out, and you do get your studies done.

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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