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Question
I Have been feeling very submissive lately. ( I use to think I was a switch but, I only feel submissive when I am in the presence of an alpha male that i connect with very very strongly)which is very odd for me because I normally always feel and display my control with every situation rather personal or business. I want to become a better Mistress but,I believe that no great leader became great with out at first being submissive/or a student of someone who was more knowledgeable in the area they wish to pursue. Now with that said I have encountered a Master whom came to me in search of learning a little more about what I teach. The strange thing about it was every time he was around me I wanted to call him My King and Serve him Whatever he asked for in other words he made me feel alive and awoke something in me I felt I was only in control of and gave it when i felt like it. I just want to have a better understanding of this because I feel there is a difference between Being A submissive and making your self submissive to someone. So my Question again is Can a Mistress have a Master Or Dom.

Answer
Sweetness -

The simple answer is there is no simple answer. There are those that are one way in all situations (business and interpersonal), one way to the vanilla world and another way with a partner, and still others (like you) that have different feelings and reactions depending on the energy of another.

Being submissive to one person doesn't make you less Dominant to another (though it may be challenging for someone submissive to you to see you in this role). Similarly, having experienced submission doesn't inherently make you a better (or worse) Dominant.

Do what feels right for you and don't worry about the perceptions of others.  

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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