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BDSM/Male Chastity

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Question
I am a dom wife to my husband. One of the rules we have is that I get to control my husband's orgasms. I generally make him wear a chastity device during the day which comes off during the night. I usually restrict his orgasms to once a week or less. The rest of the time he is generally teased to the brink of orgasm or given a ruined orgasm. I find that my husband responds very well to this kind of stimulation and we are both happy about it. But sometimes he finds it difficult to control himself or sometimes he tells me he wants to have penetrative sex which I don't always allow as he finds it hard to control himself when he is inside me. If has an unauthorized orgasm then his next orgasm is cancelled and he has to wait atleast one more week to orgasm again. But I find it hard to say no. I believe that sex should never be used as currency and also that sex is very close to affection and that should always be unconditional. But at the same time I don't want him to top from the bottom. What would you suggest?

Answer
Anagha,

I would suggest you decide which you want, him in chastity and you controlling his pleasures or allow him to decide which days he will wear it. He can be in chastity and still pleasure you and also be happy with what he has, he just needs to learn what it is that makes it hard for him to obey and work around those times. I am not sure if you understand there is no reason why he can't wear it for days including weeks *Some have been known to wear months, yrs and have it locked on* Although with your belief of sex I wouldn't see this happening.. Although it might do you both some good for him to start wearing it for a few days at a time, working up to a week and on and on.. One will truly learn who controls him, and two he will learn to please you without his cock. Which for allot of men become the way they wanted to start with.

Either way you decide to go, you need to do the research and learn what you can and can not do with a chastity device, and go from there. You also need to ask yourself what it is you are wanting in the end. Do you want come completely control your husband or is it just a bedroom thing and he can be involved in what is and isn't happening with himself.

If you need more devices to chooses from I would suggest

http://www.extremerestraints.com/chastity-devices_26/

Also for more information which will help you understand and learn about D/s with a Female lead I would also suggest you invest in these books..

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance - Paperback (Jun 2000) by Lorelei

The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance: A Guide for Women - Paperback (Aug 1, 2000) by Claudia Varrin

This is a book I suggest you read along with your husband..

The Compleat Slave: Creating And Living An Erotic Dominant/submissive Lifestyle  by Jack Rinella and Joseph W. Bean (Paperback - April 1992)

Good luck

Lady Aryana

BDSM

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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