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BDSM/Cuckolding relationship

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Question
Madame Rax,

I've been very interested for quite some time about being a cuckold in a cuckold relationship. I'm currently engaged and I've had a fantasy for a long time of my fiancÚ getting taken right in front of me by a better endowed guy while I pleasure myself. I have also desired getting verbally humiliated by my fiancÚ while this is taking place.

I want all this to happen very badly but I also don't want to risk damaging our relationship and possibly our marriage. Part of me thinks she'll be negatively affected by this and won't agree to it. The other part of me thinks that she might agree to it or might agree to try it just once.

I think she might simply because of what she suggested during a rough patch that we had while dating. She suggested dating each other and dating other people at the same time. While this idea was hurtful to me, it also really aroused me as well. This is when the fantasies started. I've also heard her comment on how she thought a guy that we both know is very attractive. A smile came across her face when she said that and I was a tad bit hurt but much more aroused.

I know that if I were to ever bring this up to her, our relationship would never be the same, regardless of what she would decide. I would hate to upset her and create a rough patch but I also wonder how I would do if this fantasy of mine always remained a fantasy. I also wonder how she'd feel if this was something that would just be done once every couple of months. I wouldn't need it to be a constant thing. I also worry about her falling in love with another guy in all this.

Anyway, it's hard to know what to do. This is something I really want but I know if I ask her, I could be paying a big price. Or, it could turn out to be an unbelievable and erotic plus for us. What do you think I should do and how should I approach this? What are some other things that I should keep in mind while I decide? Thank you very much for your help!

Answer
ross.

First you have to reconcile your own feelings on this subject. Would you be ultimately hurt even after the orgasm was finished? Would you want to risk her falling in love? Would you be able to emotionally process the situation as real, rather than just a fantasy? Many of the problems in cuckoldry fantasies are on the part of the male cuckold, not just the female component. After you have become resolute in what you want, present the information to her in a way that benefits her first and you as a result. That is the key to making such fantasies appealing to a woman.

Madame Rax.

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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