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BDSM/I Don't Know Whether I'm A Sub or Not

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Question
I'm 17 years old and have been having fantasies about a man spanking and slapping me since the age of FIVE! That is before I knew what sex was, much less BDSM. My ideal partner is someone with whom I have an equal relationship but who WILL slightly dominate/scold/tie up/do kinky things in bed with me from time to time.
I saw a guy online for a few months. He was a Dom but he was a lifestyle Dom and I didn't want to be a 24/7 sub to him. I do have sexual fantasies in which I'm downright bashed up and controlled but I don't want to be a submissive 24/7. Just in bed. And yes, I can definitely take orders and call him "Master" or "Sir" outside the bedroom at times. Also I'd love it if he'd scold me.
The question is, am I a sub?

Answer
Hi Eesha,

It seems very clear by your description that you are a sub and that you want to develop and grow on the path of D/s relationships, although not on a 24/7. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. All you have to do is find a Dom that will expect you to be very independent and equal in the "real" world while obedient and submissive sexually.

Khaos

BDSM

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Khaos

Expertise

I can answer questions about techniques in BDSM, especially about bondage. I also have plenty of experience in the psychological aspects of it, dominance, mind control techniques, and erotic hypnosis.

Experience

About 14 years experience as a bondage Dom, kinkster, and swinger.

Publications
I write often for http://KhaosTheory.com and published a book about lifestyle design and sexual dominance.

Education/Credentials
I have been studying psychology, neurosciences, and the applied arts of BDSM for these 14 years I have been in it. Most of it is of very practical application and tested in the field. There are no diplomas on the wall, but consequently I am not bound by the limits and constraints of any medical or educational occupation.

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