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Question
Hello, I am a 20 year old virgin. Who is looking for a life change. I recently found a dom online and he has asked me to do more research about my fetishes and how I feel about everything. Honestly I am confused with it all and I see things I would decently dislike like gagging or Anil sex. I would like to know how online bdsm works, can I do it in secret? This is something I have thought about and I enjoy being told what to do however I am strong headed and I don't wish to be humiliated, and would only do things like this in private. I have looked around online but I can't find much about the online life style till I cam here I found u and saw u were knowledgeable. So what can I tell me about this life, what are some safety precautions inshould set in place? And what should I expect for my master to ask me to do?

Answer
belle:

Online tends to be mostly focus on sexual perversion and picture collectors. Privacy is less assured online than in person. So online is NEVER secret.  Most serious dominants avoid online for this reason and because the satisfaction factor for both parties is almost always missing. Now if you are into masturbation and the like then online will work but it is very hard to actually exert control over the wire. And this is where a second point I would like to make comes into play... if you are submissive, then humiliation is a fact of life. Having your will bent to another is mental violent, demanding and degrading. The humiliation factor is a part of this simply because the control is stripped from you.  There are tonnes of sites you can google for that can give you this so do your homework.

As to sexual acts... well that is something that is negotiated, and as a virgin in a Western upbringing you find that mentally you are less prepared (through inexperience) for many things. So if you want online tread carefully but expect to loose the privacy factor entirely.

If you have further questions ask.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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