You are here:

BDSM/The senior submissive

Advertisement


Question
I am not currently in a D/s or M/s relationship although was under the influence of a Master Trainer that I became extremely attached to for 12 years.  When I was early 50's, I met him and finally knew what I had been seeking all my life.  He wanted to train; he does not make attachments at all, but I did and he wouldn't release me mentally so I stayed.  I asked to be dismissed, but he refused.  How stupid is that.    Now I'm 65 with the problem that I look about 48-50, fit, active and work full time in an executive position.  Underneath it all, I'm emotionally lost in my private life without a Master in my life that I desire and need.  How do I even start to find someone at I age?

I have not been in a club setting but was trained in full protocol.  I have never participated in public scenes but had asked to gain that experience; he did not like clubs except for exclusive memberships.

Answer
Gosh!  For starters, I'm 68.

Part of your challenge is that you're not living in an area rich with candidates.

Are you on Fetlife.com?  It's free and if you are, you're welcome to send me a friend request:  Dr_Bob.

You didn't flag this as "private" so we're limited in what we send back and forth this way.  If you go on Fet and put in the name of your city into a search, you'll find all the members there and you can comb through and see whether anyone might be a good local contact for you.  If you write to me on Fet we can carry this on in a bit more detail.

Depending on your finances, you'll want to start attending some of the weekend Master/slave conferences where your training will be understood and appreciated.  The next one happens to be in your area: Southeast Leatherfest (SELF) in Atlanta in early June.  I'm going to know a fair number of people sort-of near you, but by that I'm going to mean the DC area or the Atlanta area.  

If you're interested in contacting me on Fet and letting me know your town, I can see who within my network might be able to help.

You're also going to want to find your closest MAsT chapter -- Masters And slaves Together: again, they'll understand who your are.  You may be able to do an Internet search for the word MAsT and the name of your closest large city.

Feel free to write back to me here or continue this discussion on Fet.

Yours in Leather,

Bob

BDSM

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.