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Question
I am a new Master, I have always thought about a life style like this and have been blessed by a lady who will wear a collar from me. I am having a little trouble with understanding the training aspect.Here is my take, that it is not only training her to do the things  that I like or expect from my slave, but what is good for her as well. I would appreciate any advice. Thank You

Answer
Bruce,

You are completely correct on it is about what you enjoy and what is good for her, and the relationship in general.

Alot of people, find they can turn things around with a submissive, for some, it may be going back to school if he or she always thought about getting a degree in something but never had the support of family. It could be to quit smoking eating more healthy getting more sleep, and on and on and on.. The list can be endless.

As long as you both sit down, and talk about the things what are going to be in place be it things you enjoy or like, to helping her with the issues she would like helped with, talking about it, and then making sure it is all consensual. You will see, that you will change minor things over time, and for some even hard limits no longer are a issue, cause you grew in your relationship as a person or persons. Just make sure that you are meeting her wants/desires as she is meeting yours.

Being Dom is a job, it should be fun, and exciting most of the time, but we are still human so there will be days it seems to be to much. On those days if you find it is a bit to much for you, sit her down and say, hey I am having a bad day, so today tomorrow or the weekend, we will be doing things much simple. Once you find your back to yourself, you can kick start the rules, and structure you had in place to start with..

Communication is the key to any relationship, but for alot of people, myself included you need to be able to communicate even more then you do in a vanilla relationship. As long as you keep the lines open you will find less issues and more intimatecy in the relationship.

Since you are both new to this one thing I would suggest is that you pick a day of the week where you can sit down, and have a talk without either one of you getting upset. Free Speech as it may be, she can say how something you want her to do made her feel and you both can decide if it needs to be thrown out, or tweeked to make it easier for her to deal with.

I would also suggest you join fetlife and find local friends who you both can turn to in times where you seem to be butting heads. Cause even if it seems like things will be easier to deal with, you will find there are those times, you are both stressed, and neither one of you want to settle.

Good Luck, and if you would like I can suggest some books for you, and her both which might help you in your journey into building a stronger and lasting relationship

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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