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Question
I recently separated from my husband of 17 years and am seeing a man who has experience in BDSM. I have little experience at all in this area, and quite frankly sexually. I am more than willing to go down the road with him, but am terrified that my inhibitions will get in the way of my pleasure and his. I trust him and know he will not make me do anything I don't want to do, but 17 years of bad sex and little enjoyment on my part makes it a little intimidating. Any suggestions?

Answer
diane.

Were you in any way responsible for the bad sex you had for 17 years? If so, you need to correct that before you get into a new dynamic. If you were not, and it was SOLELY the part of your ex, then you have my condolences. Trying new things will be exciting, but only as far as you let it. Put his pleasure first, and if you trust him, everything will fall into place. I feel that you do not need to bring all sorts of new things to the table when there's an experienced Master involved. That is why they're a Master. Let yourself go, and be concerned with your Master's pleasure. Yours will follow.

Madame Rax.  

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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