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BDSM/dominant clash

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Question
My partner and I have a fantastic sex life and recently started 'exploring' different things. I love it when he dominates me and he loves it when I dominate him. He enjoys both sides but I find it really uncomfortable when I dominate him. I know its selfish wanting him to be the primary dominant because I know he enjoys being dominated. How do I get into the Dom role and enjoy it?

Answer
First I do not find it selfish if your uncomfortable about something. Some people just can not be in the Dom role and that is okay. This is something you need to sit down and talk to him about.

I would also tell you to seek out area munches and find some like minded people to have as friends this way. You have others to talk to as well grow and learn from.

I do not total understand the mind set of just Being a sub or a Com for sex. This is not something I have ever been into so it can be hard for me to wrap my head around it. So please forgive me.

Maybe he would be happy with some aspects that are not outside of what you are comfortable with? You can join www.fetlife.com for free and search out others in your area as well find local events and group meetings. You can join groups and make some like minded people on line to talk with as well.

I wish you luck and never stop trying, I thank you for the question, as it also has me searching and looking for different aspects to try to understand better.

Awhitecloud

BDSM

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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