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Question
I am in a closed, poly relationship with two people.
I am the oldest out of the three of us, and, for the most part, I am what holds us together.

I am the sexual Dom for, well, both of them, and while I'm ok with that (I am of stone sexuality, so this is ok).

However, I am of submissive nature outside the bedroom.

I seek to be Dommed platonically by the man in the triad, and he says he'll "try."

What I want is to be told what to do:  when to go to bed, when to eat, when to take my medications...  I want punishments if I fail to do something.

It's almost like I want a parent, I guess.  That would be a simpler way to phrase it; it just so happens that I am in my 20s and am no longer of the age where society deems that behavior "appropriate."

I am asking our other partner what she thinks about the situation:  if she thinks he'll come around or not and such.  I have yet to get a reply, but when I do, I plan on asking her how he would react to me seeking a Dom/Domme outside of our relationship.

Am I being ridiculous?  Are my wants ridiculous?

At this point in my life, I am going through GID, GAD, OCD, and depression; I want some direction from someone to counter that.  I find... solace in the idea, and I really want him to provide that.  If he can't, though, I guess he can't.

I just want verification from an outside source that I'm not stupid or weird for wanting this.  I am fairly certain that it is a valid want within the BDSM community.

I'm just lost, and I want reassurance.

Answer
Jack,
Well you will get it from me. What you want is not uncommon in Tops/Master's.. Everyone needs a ability to find release. It is how you decide you need it that is what matters. If you do not find this release, you end up becoming as you said depressed and that is not healthy for any of your relationships and even more so for you.

I offer a suggest to you though, Instead of having him be your Dominate how about he be your Domestic Disciplinarian Or better yet find someone outside of your triad who will be Non sexual and give you the Discipline you feel you need. This person can be of your choosing or you can ask those involved with you to help you find this person so that they are included in the relationship.

Either way you decide you are normal. Even the Most Dominate of men/women need to be able to release things the good thing about what you have is your partners are more likely to accept what you need and support you completely.

Good luck and keep me posted please.

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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