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BDSM/what am i?

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Question
Hello, i am kinda new to the BDSM scene...but i was wondering if you could help me?i notice that nearly everything here has a label, like a dom or a sub or a leather...(whatever that is) and i have nothing against that. But when i think of someone dominating me, of having to call some one master, or sir..i get a Sick feeling in my stomach. I don't like the idea of kneeling down for anyone. But when think of having to care for someone submissive..i freak out a bit, not really knowing how to take care of them and cringing at the idea of being called 'mistress'.

I want someone whose my equal. Someone who i can indulge into my pain-plays with, and also their own, without having to worry about losing my self respect or pride. (Not against anyone who likes it though). I WANT to be able to call someone master, but all be able to have the same done to me, without feeling like owning or being owned. I like BDSM, but who can i enjoy it with?

Can you help me? I WANT to find someone who can understand and accept that, but first i have to know what im called. I know its probably a weird question to ask but...

In the BDSM world, what am i?

Answer
tyra,

Where you're starting is where most BDSM newbies start. Unsure of your role but intrigued by all the beautiful, amazing possibilities. The phenomenon that many folks in the scene are defined by one role is the product of many years of experimentation and finding things they like, coupled with trying to attract a certain type of (play) partner. Behind the scenes, many of the most evolved practitioners admit to an ever-changing flux in both their sexuality and their BDSM orientation. In the following video, a lifestyle Dominatrix of many years, Eve Minax explains how she's come to realize she has a certain desire to surrender to an intimate partner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKW4J6ZQS1w - we must all accept and learn to love all of our own qualities, even those that may confuse (or seem new to) us at times. Just as a Kinsey 6 is hard to come by, an entirely Dominant or submissive can be a unicorn if we're being completely honest with ourselves. I think the best thing you can do is bill yourself as a "switch," which means simply that your desire to Dominate or submit ebbs and flows with your whims. The important thing to remember is that in BDSM, there is no need to be uncomfortable (unless you want to be). There is no requirement stating that you must listen unconditionally to a Master or that you MUST be called Mistress. The more you learn and play, the more you will learn about yourself - and can eventually have a certainty to your role (or lack thereof) and any partner(s) of your choosing. Be upfront about your desires - don't hold back for fear that you may "scare" someone - after all, this is BDSM! We all fly our freak flags here.

fondly, and return to update Me,
Madame Rax.

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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