You are here:

BDSM/Kickstarting

Advertisement


Question
Hello, I guess I am a bit shy in how to word my question. A bit of history for me and my Dom is that we met online. We were best friends before lovers and were always so close we could not see how madly in love with each other we were until my closest friends pointed it put to us. We dated online for another six months and then I moved in with him. We are now engaged and we have always been a bit kinky. We have just now decided we want to be a 24/7 lifestyle couple. We have joined Fetlife  and even gone to a group meeting in our area that went fantastically. We plan to attend many more and grow as the indivisible couple that we are. My question perhaps is what would be some beginner sort of excersizes to start out our journey. We are both ones to study the "mentality" and how the other should feel but we are a bit stuck on the real life applications. IE how to attain subspace and such. Do you have any specific rituals or things you constantly do to keep Y/yours happy?

Answer
Okay subspace is not something that you can plan on and that you can make happen. Subspace Comes when your inner being allows you to just fly. It is different for everyone and some people never reach it. For myself it is a spiritual and emotional place a number of thing happen and it all works together to all that to happen.
or me I am emotional engaged with the art of serving and doing what my mate needs day to day, most is not even sexually related.

When we play it is not even sexual and I am allowed to meet that bless inside of myself.

As for 24/7 you just need to set up your rules and what you each wish to gain from your dally activities. Now you need to write things out, what his duties are and what he needs, and then what your duties will be and what you need out of this. It is not so different from everyday life. To the rest of the world they never have to know. We had looks, hand placements and different touching that gave me the clues on what was happening or if he wished me to do something. It was what for us and you need to find out what will work for the two of you and your relationship. I was told before we headed out the door what was expected of me for the evening, I was never in the dark. We talked offten as to what was working What we needed to change as well if anything needed to be changed weekly. This worked for us, but I will tell you communication is the key to it all.

Thank you for the question, I wish you both luck and if there is anything else I can do please come back or look me up on fetlife, I have the same user name.

Awhitecloud

BDSM

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.