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Question
I am a 30 yr old woman with 2 small children, I am in a long distance Relationship with a man I consider my soul mate. About a week ago he confessed that he would love to have a Master / slave relationship with me, not just in the bed room full time.  I've always had a sub. personality and decided to read up on what the Master / slave lifestyle was about, I found I rather like the idea. So we agreed that I would give it a try and then I could decide when I go for my visit, so far I've found it pleasing. My main concern is I love this man with all that I am and I fear that I'll lose the man I fell in love with or If I decide It's not something I can do full time it will break us.  This last week of being his slave has made me happy aside of we now do not have the long talks as we used to he is no longer sweet and romantic all the things that made me fall in love... should I express this? should I just tell him I can't live this life due to the change in him? I feel very alone and confused I want to serve and please him but i don't want to lose the man I fell in love with either can you help?

Answer
Kat,

 Yes you should express this to him.. You can have a M/s relationship and still be romantic with each other.. One of the biggest problems with couples, is that they tend to think since they are in a M/s relationship they can no longer do the things that they did before.. Which is not true, you can do it all, and maybe even more.. Since your job is to take care of yourself first, and then him, you need to make sure he knows what it is you are feeling so as the Master he can tend to the issues that concern you.. He is not a mind reader nor should he be.. A power exchange relationship takes continuing communication.. You need to always be able to tell him what it is you are feeling, good or bad or indifferent.. You need to do this in a none confronting way.. You can do this by putting the M/s on the side for a moment, or write it in a journal and send it to him or allow him to read it.. Either way you need to remember, M/s is still a relationship, and he needs to understand that as well..

If you are not already Members I would suggest you both join Fetlife, and find others in your area which you can talk with, and learn from..

I wish you luck and I hope things work out for you.

Lady Atyana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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