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BDSM/Am i a sub

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Question
Hello, and thank you for answering my question.

I have deep fantasies of being manhandled, spanked, used, doggie styled for hours, but with someone who knows what they are doing.
I never even considered bdsm until reading 50 shades of Grey -cliche, I know, and rather inaccurate BDSM  based on conversations I had-but it gave me a glimpse into something I may be interested in.
How do I know I am a sub for sure?
How to approach my significant other and initiate a conversation?
What if I am scared of pain? I am not sure I want to be beaten, gagged, etc.

Thank you! I appreciate your time!

Answer
d.

It is best to attempt to act out these fantasies in a safe zone. Find an experienced Dom(me) and explain the situation. There's a possibility you may be judged unfairly because of your exposure to BDSM in the form of Fifty Shades of Grey, but that's, I venture to guess, a risk you're willing to take. If you are scared of pain, use the three-step safe words (green, rarely - just after yellow, to signify "okay start again" | yellow, when needed - if you're becoming very uncomfortable and think you need to slow down | red, once - that will stop the session completely and it will not resume. If you use these tools and find someone who is kind enough to experiment with someone who is new, you can find out fairly easily if BDSM is right for you.

Madame Rax.

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Madame Rax

Expertise

I am open and willing to answer any questions involving BDSM that do not specifically concern illegal acts involving children or non-consensual assault against an unwilling party.

Experience

I have had BDSM experience in a professional capacity since 2005. As far as personal, non-professional experience, I have always taken the lead in relationships, friendships, and other situational interactions. I prefer to "wear the pants" so to speak. However, this is not to say I wear the physical pants: I am mostly seen wearing skirts.

Organizations
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom

Publications
Excitedly, this will be my first foray into professional writing about BDSM, however my vanilla writings have appeared in several publications online. I am the former main web editor of a very popular DIY website, writing articles about electronics, repurposing, and sustainability.

Education/Credentials
I have participated in many educational workshops held by Pro-Dommes. I have also hosted a few workshops involving BDSM issues. I have done extensive research on D/s power dynamics and BDSM. As far as education, however, professional sessions and interactions with clients have provided most of my experience.

Past/Present Clients
I have a multitude of both. I specialize in clients with physical handicaps, rare kinks, edge play, LGBT lifestyles, and other underrepresented or marginalized groups.

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