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BDSM/bdsm and daddy/little girl relationship....

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Question
Hello, my girlfriend and I have, for quite some time, had a Daddy/Little Girl dynamic in our relationship. Well, basically whenever we get sexual with eachother we do this. On top of this, relatively recently, we have gotten into the idea of bdsm and she most definately is a submissive. We currently are long distance, but have made it through a whole lot and this is the longest relationship either of us has ever had and we are currently working on making our relationship in-person.  Im on this site looking for advice on BDSM matters, wanting to ensure that anything she and I do is as safe as one can make it. Ive never had a M/s or whatever type of relationship before and thus I wish to learn as much as I possibly can before doing anything. I saw that you offer help in Daddy/Little girl and bdsm based relationships and I was hoping you might be able to give me advice, suggestions, and your general opinion. Other then me and my girlfriend, I dont know anyone else into the whole daddy/little girl thought so anything you might have to say about such would be greatly appreciated!

Answer
HI Valithor,

It's great that you are reaching out for safe suggestions! The first thing I would suggest would be to negotiate your relationships term with your girlfriend. Establish a safeword that can be used so that whenever either of your are uncomfortable during a scene you can use it to immediately stop the play. Next, you should discuss what kind of play is allowed. I always suggest the BDSM checklists at A Submissive's Initiative: https://asubmissivesinitiative.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/bdsm-checklist-downloads/ They are available in a Word document, PDF file and plain text. It includes a long list of different BDSM activities, fetishes, etc and you can talk with your girlfriend about anything that interests you and anything that is hard limit, or completely off limits.

For Daddy/Little Girl ideas, role play is always a great start. You can take it even further during your daily lives by doing little things for her like tying her shoes, brushing her hair, helping her take a bath, reading her a story. She may enjoy coloring, playing with toys, watching cartoons or going to the park with you as well. Your activities with her will definitely depend on what her Little's age is. Mine can range from younger (5-7) to a preteen age (12/13). When I'm younger, I enjoy the things I already mentioned, but my older "Little" enjoys painting my nails, doing my makeup, going to the store, etc. Talk to her about what she might think her Little's age is, how she feels when she's in "little space" and what she likes to do when she's in that mindset. You can also ask her if there are specific activities or places that trigger her little space.

And remember, keep everything SSC (Safe, sane, consensual) and your communication open and your relationship will be great!

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Jessica Cocker

Expertise

BDSM lifestyle, Dom/sub relationship, daddy/little girl relationships, BDSM theory and practice with real life applications, sadism and masochism, bondage application with some rope/shibari experience, BDSM toy information, BDSM and bondage safety, I can answer questions regarding M/s based on research, but I have no experience in a M/s dynamic.

Experience

7+ years exploring the lifestyle, 1+ years in 24/7 DD/lg relationship, 1+ year at A Submissive's Initiative

Organizations
Founder/CEO of A Submissive's Initiave, Founder/CEO of A Dominant's Initiative, Founder/CEO of The Safe Submissive

Publications
www.asibdsm.com

Education/Credentials
Self education, along with educational research for A Submissive's Initiative. 3 years into my Bachelors in Early Childhood Education, with experience working in the field.

Past/Present Clients
Currently guiding my Daddy through exploration of his DD side, as well as providing mentoring to several people through A Submissive's Initiative and providing supporting through A Dominant's Initiative and The Safe Submissive

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