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Question
hi i am just wondering if whether or not a person can be trained as a slave without even knowing especially in an online cyber long distance relationship? i have had my one and only master for three years now and we met on an online game we both play!and curious to no is what does he mean when he says something like "you were doomed the first time you said hi?" but ever since hes made me his in the cyber world i have also wanted and still want to be his in real life is that crazy of me? i hope i am making sense here sorry if i am not is it crazy that i want to do anything and everything for him? i never knew i was even in to this or even like this kind of thing till him till my Master really am i crazy???please help

Answer
I have no experience in fantasy M/s. For me, M/s is the most amazing, intimate, emotional relationship that I have every imagined. When we first met on-line, we spent our time getting to know each other, talked almost every night for several hours. When we first met in the meat world, I don't think that either of us had any intention of any permanence coming from it.

At the end of three weeks we were "hooked" and when we parted we immediately made plans to see each other again as soon as practical.

For me, with no physical interaction, no face to face, there is no reality, no honesty. While I believe your sincerity, I doubt his. He has his fantasy, what do you have? Unfulfilled dreams. If he has not made the effort to meet you, even though you are half way around the world, that to me that shows the depth of his commitment. You know nothing of his actual life, other then what he cares to tell you. I find it difficult to understand how you can put your trust, an absolute requirement for a successful M/s relationship, in a cyber master.

I am sorry if my words seem harsh, but the advice I always give to people seeking a slave relationship is "you are responsible for your own well being." Not him, you. This is true even for my slave, to whom I collared six years ago and married seven. She is still, ultimately, responsible for her own well being. For her to step back from our M/s relationship would mean the end of our relationship and the termination of our marriage. To us, that is how important her collar is. She can leave, but only at the expense of our relationship.

How has your on-line master expressed himself to you? Through demands, tasks which he knows you will fail at so that he has an excuse to punish you? Web-sex (ok, that's a cheap shot we did that too! :) ) What has he done - for you? Is your relationship with him bringing you happiness, a feeling of fulfillment? These are basic emotional needs which a healthy M/s relationship explores and seeks to maximize. For us, M/s is about having a fulfilling, healthy, joyful relationship which is full of laughter and happiness.

A long term, long distance relationship with no plans for actually meeting; to me that is only fantasy.

Please, be aware of your feelings, how you feel after you have been on-line with him. If you feel good about yourself, then perhaps this is what it needs to be. If you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, bad about yourself, then perhaps it is time that you think about yourself first rather than seeking so hard to please him. After three years, no personal contact, I have to ask you - why?

Thank you for your questions, I'm sorry that I could not be more encouraging.

Brian

BDSM

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BrianR

Expertise

I will answer questions related to long term Master/slave relationships.

Experience

We have been married since 2007, and I collared her on November 1, 2008. My slave and I are married, monogamous, and committed to each other. My relationship with my slave is based on mutual love, respect, and frankly fun. Race Bannon has said "if you are not having fun then you are doing it wrong." We are having lots of fun so we must be doing something right! My slave is an intelligent (BS in Mathematics actually), and strong women who chooses to put her power into my service and, perhaps seemingly paradoxically as she is my submissive, my equal. She is my slave, my wife, my best friend, and my only lover. I respect her for her ability to submit and truly believe that it takes more strength to submit then to dominate. She follows, but not blindly.

Organizations
Masters and Slaves Together - Marysville (Washington) (founding director) MAsT International - Assistant Northwest Regional Representative 2015, Regional Representtive 2016 BDSM Writers Workshop (April 2016) http://bdsmwriterscon.com/

Publications
My essays are on Fetlife under BrianR (https://fetlife.com/users/9389/posts)

Education/Credentials
Engineer (however this probably should be under the category "barriers your slave has overcome")

Awards and Honors
With my lovely slave we were Northwest Master and slave 2013

Past/Present Clients
With my slave I have presented at national and international events since 2013. While we enjoy presenting at national events, we find more satisfaction in talking with small groups from Boise ID to Singapore and Hong Kong. Our list of classes is available at

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