BDSM/Public

Advertisement


Question
QUESTION: Hello sir,

here is my question me and my master have been struggling seens we have been back home from university because we are living with our parents at this moment. I just want to know how can we life a bdsm lifestyle with out freaking everyone out. We have no privacy and I just really miss allot of the freedom we had before and it's driving me insane.

Note: there is not chance that we can just come out with it.

ANSWER: Hi, Josee --

Tough situation.

As your parents are not sympathetic to your Master/slave lifestyle, you have a couple of options.

First, join your local MAsT group -- Masters And slaves Together.  I seem to recall that there is one in Ontario -- I'm close friends with the MAsT chapter president from Ottawa and can probably get you connected pretty easily.  At least you'd have monthly.meetings and friends with similar interests.

Next, you can develop some very private protocols to use together.  If you haven't already read my book: "Protocols for the Female slave: Handbook of theory and practice", you might want to pick it up on Amazon.

You can use special names for one another in public that to the two of you recognize your respective roles as Master and slave.  You can certainly have morning and evening rituals -- bed rituals, breakfast rituals, etc.  

In terms of BDSM, I'd again suggest that you join some of the local clubs and all your parents need to know is that you're going out on a date.  I suspect that Ontario has a number of clubs... are you a member of Fetlife.com?  It's free and you can do a search for "Ontario" and all the local clubs and groups will come up -- as well as all the Felife members in Ontario.  Fetlife is the "Facebook" for us kinksters.

If you go onto Fet, I'm Dr_Bob.  Feel free to send me a "friend request."

Best wishes on your Path,

Bob

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Master and I really want to join a club but we got to school in ottawa and during the summer am in a little town with absolutely nothing.

ANSWER: What activities do you miss?  What is it that you can't do that you want to do?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: As activities nothing really, but I just miss being able to serve. Like doing my chores and kneeling at the door when he comes home and so on but at home I feel like am back to being a teenager it's awful my mother is OCD so I can't do anything cleaning wise.

Answer
How about negotiating with your mother that the room that the two of you live in is off-limits to her: private space.

Then you can take care of it.

I'm back to: develop private protocols for the two of you.  Go on walks in protocol (he walks 1/2 pace ahead of you?).  Keep your/his care spotless?  Iron his Jeans and put some starch in his shirts?  Even t-shirts?  

BDSM

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.