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BDSM/Am I doing something wrong?

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Question
I have been with my fiancee for 3years and he is the love of my life. In the past I was involved in a M/s relationship which I enjoyed very much and has missed since leaving my Master.
Recently my Master has come back into my life, as a friend, and I can't help but think about my previous relationship with him as I miss it very much.
I have been feeling unattractive and had a low sex drive for over a year now, which is not a reflection on my partner at all, its been myself. And now that my Master is back I can feel my sex drive increasing and I want to be intimate with my partner more. I have tried to explain my interest in this part of me to my partner and he doesn't fully understand. I have spoken to my Master about it and he is very understanding and encouraging to get my partner interested.
I have been thinking about asking my Master to help me, over email, to tap back into that side of myself so I can express myself sexually with my partner. I know my Master is willing to do this for me, and I want to know, if this is for the benefit of my long term relationship, creating more intimacy and more satisfaction for me and my fiancee, is it wrong?
My Master says he won't do anything to hurt me or my relationship, and I would never allow that to happen either, but is it ok to seek advice and guidance from my Master to help my current sexual life?
I guess I'm just a bit confused. I really want to have a satisfying sexual life with my fiance, and until my Master showed up again I haven't even been interested in sex. Now I am definately more than interested and I feel like a little help from my Master would be a good thing for us both. Is it wrong of me to have this email relationship with my Master in the short term to benefit my marriage in the long term? Like I said, I would never do anything to hurt my partner, but I know he is not satisfied with me sexually at the moment, and I want to give him everything he needs.I would never be with my Master physically again, just through emails, which he agrees is best, so could you please give me some advice? I need an outside perspective!! Thank you!!!

Answer
Ashley,

First thing first, you did not say how old you where, and if or not you have talked to your Dr about your sex drive and tried medical means to help solve this problem.

While I was married, and my marriage was coming apart I found it hard to get into anything sexual with my husband, and I talked to my Dr, and come to find out there was a medical reason behind my problems.. So I was put on meds, which in a sense did help me a great deal, although during this time I went and started to write adult erotica and this helped my drive ten times more then any of the meds my Dr's had put me on,, So you need to be seen medically and see if there is a reason behind your lack of drive when it comes to your husband and you sexually.

As for what you are asking, yes you could be seen as cheating. You are married and though you say there will be nothing physically between you and your EX Master, you need to look at it from outside the box. This man who knows you so well mentally is able to bring these feelings with in you, so the emotionally he is giving you something your husband is unable to for what ever reason. If your husband where to ever find out about this, he will not only be hurt but feel like you do not trust him enough to come to him.. For some cheating isn't about the physical actions, it is about the mental connection you are supposed to have with your spouse/wife/husband.

What I would suggest you do, is sit down with your husband and explain what it is BDSM does for you, show him web pages, *Personally I think lifestyle books are better then the web but to each his/her own.* Show him these links where you think he might be able to understand a bit more.. I am sorry to say as a society we have taught our boys that it is wrong to touch a women, and even worse, we teach our girls it is wrong to be submissive to their mate.

I will give you some books I would suggest you invest in and both your husband and you both can read where he can learn BDSM is not about abuse it is about respect, trust, honor and protection, and yes for some even about love...

The Compleat Slave: Creating And Living An Erotic Dominant/submissive Lifestyle  by Jack Rinella and Joseph W. Bean

Screw the roses, send me the thorns

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission

The Master's Manual: A Handbook of Erotic Dominance

Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame and Gloria Brame

Training With Miss Abernathy: A Workbook for Erotic Slaves and Their Owners by Christina Abernathy

I want to offer you some sites which you may also find alot of useful information

http://www.gloriabrame.com/

http://bestslavetraining.com/slave-training-manual/slave-training-principles/beh

http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm

http://www.asubmissivesinitiative.com/

I would also suggest you create a account with Fetlife.com and look for other couples in your area who are already living this lifestyle who can become friends with you and your husband, this would be the best thing to do..

If you still wish to talk to your EX Master, I would not do this behind your husbands back. Adultery isn't always about the sex it is more about the connection you form with someone, and this would be so easy to get back with your EX Master that in your husbands eyes your EX gives you something your husband can not.

Again I would simply find others in your area and go to munches which you can find on Fetlife If you find couples who she is submissive, and he is Dominate not only can your husband find out that its not abuse but what all it brings to the relationship in the end.

Good Luck

Lady Aryana

BDSM

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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