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BDSM/How to claim your sub if she says no

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Question
How do u regain the trust  of. A sub  and ask her to be my slave again ?

Answer
Hi, Luke --

Your question is pretty broad to ask someone who doesn't know you or the situation.

I take it that she WAS your sub and that you lost her through some form of bad behavior?

As I've been in that situation, the brief answer is that you have to learn how to identify every aspect of you that she objected to and change yourself.  That's a BIG, BIG project.  If, in fact, you want to know how I'm approaching it, then write to me at PowerExchangeEditor@yahoo.com and I'll send you an attachment about the books and audio tapes I'd recommend.

However, if you like yourself as you are and she doesn't like the "you" who you are, I doubt that you'll be able to get her back after a breach of trust.

In my case, the person's comment was: "Even if you try to straighten out a crumpled piece of paper, it's always going to look as though it was crumpled at one time."  "Trust" had started out as a clean, new piece of paper.  Another of her comments: "It's like the foundation of a house that has developed cracks: you can cover over the cracks, but they're still there."

Good luck,

Bob

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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