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BDSM/gay bottom dom

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Question
Italian gay guy here ^^
That's probably silly, but can a gay bottom, and I mean bottom in the gay slang meaning, being dominant or master?
Every s&m film I see, the dom is a top, bottom is a sub. Group movies? One sub bottom, the other guys are top. And I dont know any gay D/s couple to ask. Maybe a bottom guy can be the dom, but it's very rare?

Answer
If you think about it, it's not surprising that there's a coronation of Dominant/Top and submissive/bottom. However, there's nothing that says this is the only possible arrangement.

D/s is a relationship construct - who has authority and who cedes authority. Top/bottom is about giving and receiving in BDSM activities. With this understanding you can see how there can be crossover in roles.  Think of a couple driving in a car. The Dominant can decide to drive (topping) or be the passenger (bottoming). But as the "bottom" he's still exerting control (turn left at the next light; slow down; turn off the radio). The same holds true in a BDSM context. If the Dominant likes to get flogged or ass fucked, then that's what he decides and directs (slowly, slowly, now harder!).

The Lifestyle should be about self-actualization. If you like to be in co trol but be on the receiving end of activities, then you're a Dominant that likes to bottom. Look for a submissive that likes to serve by topping. Enjoy

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Ben Martin

Expertise

Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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