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Question
I am in a bdsm relationship with a guy I adore(he is my master) and I have a problem with letting my ego down, during discussion.This makes him angry and frustrated and it makes me very sad and angry on myself, after I realize what I ve done.I don't do it in purpose, It just sneaking out from me during the debate.We have discussed this many times, but I keep doing it again.I don't know how to solve this problem.I don't wanna give up on the relationship, but I understand that this ego problem it's an issue.
Please help me with suggestion.

Answer
amelie:


The first hint that you are refusing your sub role is simply the capitalization of your name, and the constant use of I in your email.  This denotes many things, mostly that you like the play but not the surrender.  The words only confirm this, it is very much like you pushing back to retain your strength and independence even if you want to submit for the play.  

Being submissive is not a lessening of your. Some of the strongest women I know are submissive with me. And yet the surge forward strong dominance at work or in situations with other submissives. I would suggest that this maybe where you need to head, find a relationship where you can be dommed and where you can domme as well.  But never switch with people in the other person.  Always work on the relationships you have in the role you aspire too.

Now part of the issue may be you have what we call a "soft-hearted" dom.  I am willing to bet he has NO sadistic tendencies, people who do not mind spanking will also force the control.

If you have more questions please feel free to ask.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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