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Question
I am a 24 year old man living in India. I have recently been dating a young widow a few years older than me. She is a naturally dominant woman and she wants me to be totally submissive towards her after we marry. We love each other a lot but I am a bit worried about what this submission entails. She says it will not be a sex fantasy but simply a lifestyle where she makes all the decisions and I submit to her authority. I have agreed on some of her demands like taking her last name after marriage and giving up control of my orgasms. The part that I am apprehensive about is that she wants to physically punish me at least once a week. She has promised me that the punishment will not be due to some wrong doing on my part but purely a sort of maintenance discipline in order to reinforce her dominance over me. She will punish me for infractions by using other non physical methods like confinement,  removal of privileges etc. I am fine with that but physical pain really scares me. I have never been spanked or caned in my life so far and I have no idea how it feels or whether I will be able to bear it. Can you give me some advice on how I can bear pain more easily as a beginner. Also please advice me on how to be a good submissive husband to my wife. We are not currently living under the same roof and my mistress has not allowed me penetrative sex as yet. She says that she will do so only after we marry.

Thank You
Feerkhan

Answer
Hi Feerkhan,

You sound like you have a great Mistress there. It seems to me that the physical discipline will not be serious and not done in a punishment way, which would mean it might end up very pleasurable for the both of you. Pain is a double-edged sword, firstly you got to relax mentally and physically. It would make her happy that you accept her pain willingly.  

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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