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BDSM/Introducing bdsm to my partner.

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Question
Hi Jessica!
I started fantasizing of bdsm, sub/dom scenes since I was a kid, don't know where it came from, back in a 'dark ages' we did not have internet, DVDs and etc.
Well...I tried to introduce it to my husband, even tried to use some mild restraints during sex, but he got so nervous and even offended and said he is not into it...but I did not give up instead I started to bring up this subject occasionally in conversations  before or after having sex. After 6-7 months or so,  he suggested!!! (not me) to use restraints and some mild spanking and allowed me to be dom in the bedroom,   all went fantastic, can't even put it in words.
Next day he asked me to be  sub, I was kinda excited, since I prefer man to take a lead in the sex (I thought I do...). We used restraints and some toys, that was exactly how I imagined it to be, almost all I ve been dreaming of, but...I got so nervous, embarrassed, intimidated even. I could not relax and enjoy the process, I know  for sure my husband would never ever do anything I don't like. What's happened? I am scared to do it again, so confused. What could potentially went wrong at the first time? Is that a normal reaction in case if I initiated it at the first place?

Answer
Hi Liliana,

It is perfectly normal to be nervous about your first submissive experience. Even if you've been practicing BDSM for years as a Dominant, your first time taking the sub role can be nerve wrecking. You don't know what to expect, if you'll like it, love it or hate it and it can be hard to calm down and just enjoy the process... especially if you don't know what is going to happen during your session. Did you and your husband talk about what kind of activities are off limits and what are ok to do? If not, check out our BDSM checklist on A Submissive's Initiative and use that as a starting point for next time! http://asibdsm.com/product/bdsm-checklist-download-free/

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Jessica Cocker

Expertise

BDSM lifestyle, Dom/sub relationship, daddy/little girl relationships, BDSM theory and practice with real life applications, sadism and masochism, bondage application with some rope/shibari experience, BDSM toy information, BDSM and bondage safety, I can answer questions regarding M/s based on research, but I have no experience in a M/s dynamic.

Experience

7+ years exploring the lifestyle, 1+ years in 24/7 DD/lg relationship, 1+ year at A Submissive's Initiative

Organizations
Founder/CEO of A Submissive's Initiave, Founder/CEO of A Dominant's Initiative, Founder/CEO of The Safe Submissive

Publications
www.asibdsm.com

Education/Credentials
Self education, along with educational research for A Submissive's Initiative. 3 years into my Bachelors in Early Childhood Education, with experience working in the field.

Past/Present Clients
Currently guiding my Daddy through exploration of his DD side, as well as providing mentoring to several people through A Submissive's Initiative and providing supporting through A Dominant's Initiative and The Safe Submissive

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