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BDSM/He makes me pay him now

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Question
Hi
I have been seeing my dom for 5 months now ...I  know that I'm a sub and have played with people before  more because they where trying to please me them because they where a Dom ....so I would say he's first experience of someone who dominates properly both physically and mentally an for the most part I was/am happy and comfortable .

He's been clear that we are dom /sub and I totally ok with that and like that I know my place
However recently he has started to make me pay him  for the time we spend together ...which I do not feel very good about , I don't have to pay for anytime we spend in public but I do for my sessions ......when we first met I never had to pay he introduced it a month or so ago

He said that nothing In life is free and I need to understand that but it makes me feel like I'm not good enough and he's like bored withe and that's why I have to pay.....I also do a job where I could benefit his company an he says if I pull that off for him I would not have to pay .......is this ok in the context of bdsm .........everything else we do I'm totally on board with

He had said that I have to pay cause he's not getting anything out it but he's sexually excited so he is ....also he strongly tried to make me engineer a situation where he had sex with my actual sister who was having none of it

Answer
I am sorry but I would not stay in any relationship that I had to pay for.  The only people I know that pay are if your a pro Dom and it is about money from the get go, and that is the deal.  And then you do not have any other time at all together but for your paid time.

If he is getting nothing out of it then cut the strings and move on. There are more fish in the sea.  I would not want to be with anyone that is not getting anything out of the relationship sexually or other wise.  He has a fish to use and it is you.  Pack up and RUN and run far away from this guy and fast.

I am sorry, but that is not what it is all about and that is not a Dom/sub relationship at all. He is a disgrace to the lifestyle in my personal opinion.

Thank you for the question, and please let him go and get in a healthy relationship where you are both growing and learning and experiencing the joy together.

awhitecloud

BDSM

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awhitecloud

Expertise

Life questions in the area of D/s and real life relationships. I have been active in the Lifestyle for over 18 years and live it real time. Active in local munches for the last 16 years. Have practical life experiences that have brought me to a greater understanding of my self and the lifestyle. There is some part or aspect of the lifestyle in each part of my day. I am constantly thinking about something in the lifestyle. There is no part of my day that is not centered around the D/s lifestyle.

Experience

I have been active in the community for over 19 years. I have been helping people for the last 14 years on a number of boards. And I write articles for different on line as well other D/s publications. Have a published book and am now working on the second one. Helping other as well promoting the lifestyle in a healthy, safe way is what I want to keep trying to do.

Organizations
Spokane Power Exchange. Salem OR area...Wet Spot

Publications
D/s World .... Fbot..."The Subbie Journal" www.Fetlife.com

Education/Credentials
I have finished my Master's degree and have spent a great deal of time in the fields of physiology. And I did a D/s study for my Master's thesis, and I was surprised with the out come. D/s views may not be defined but most all relationships have some aspect of them. Have a D/s book "The subbie Journal? in it's third printing.

Awards and Honors
I have several for best article of the month from D/s World.

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