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BDSM/Dominant sadist's feelings towards a sub

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Question
Hello,

I have a question about a sadistic dom's psychology. If the dom is sadist that enjoys extreme torture on his sub, how can this enjoyment can actually go along with love and empathy? It's obvious that it can, but I do not completely get how the sadist feels about his sub. How can a desire to see his sub suffering be compatible with the desire to keep the sub safe and loved? And what does the sadistic dom feel during the torturing game?
It would be great if you could help me truly understand this aspect of S&M relationship and the psychology behind it.

Thank you, Christine

Answer
Christine,

Sorry about the delay I never got the noticed I had yours and others pending with questions..

As for your question, really it is not hard.. To protect her and keep her safe is part of the relationship. It could be this is part of what she needs to be complete and the protection is from those outside the relationship. It could also be protecting her from herself as well. When you enter into a BDSM relationship it is known for the most part that S&M is part of the relationship and when you stop giving it then you start to hurt the relationship. The same goes with control. If you enter into a relationship and you are supposed to control her, and it stops you are no longer giving her the love she needs in her life.

A sadist is not going to hurt who they play with so that it causes lasting issues.. You know what the limits are and if you are a good Master or Mistress you respect those limits.. You normally would get involved with someone who matches up with you or someone who is willing to push the limits they have for you. No matter how or who you end up with you always make sure that at the end of the day they are loved and respected and able to do what they need to do in life so that they can play again the next days or weeks to come. Making one feel safe is as easy as showing them you can give them what they needs/desire.. If this is what it takes, then the sadist has no issues giving what he gives best..

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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