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BDSM/finding out more about the lifestyle

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Question
Hi, I've become more and more interested in the BDSM lifestyle but feel I've been looking in the wrong places. my first sexual experience was with a master who taught me a few basic things he felt I should know. since then I have been trying to learn more and find someone who is willing to be a dominant figure but have only found fakes who know little of the lifestyle and it's background. I'm just wondering if you have any advice on where I could search or how I can find what I'm looking for.

Answer
sarah:

The problem you face is that numerous people use this lifestyle as a way to NSA (no strings attached sex) and have little real interest in the lifestyle. ALT and CollarMe are rife with this, as well as scammers and people posing as what they are not. UK BDSM site are as riddled with this as well. You need find people willing to engage with a novice, the best way to do so is attend some local munches (BDSM get togethers) or some of the bigger events. Network with people but before you jump into sometime talk to the people focus on your and their interests. Very often those just wanting in your pants will tell you everything you want to hear or align with you when talking. Most of the serious people will have some particular interests that hey have strong leanings towards and are obvious about it.

This life style has many forms and styles or sub cultures. Even the most open minded of us still are not into everything. As a dominant many may give a little on this to ensure a sub has the experiences they need to be fulfilled but usually will always gravitate back to their comfort zones. Find ones with the same interests to start, likely if you are new your interests will grow and expand. The other thing is avoid very young dominants. Let's be honest it takes experience and lots of it to expand and broaden ones interests and the very young while "beautiful" lack most of that and tend to be more sexually focused.

If you have more questions feel free to ask. Others here can give you views from different perspectives. Remember it is the fact you can get multiple view points that allows you to build a sense of comfort and understanding which supports you rather than manipulates you.

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Aramock Nanuck

Expertise

I will answer any questions concern the lifestyle and may annoy a few because I do dive into the history and psychology of this lifestyle in many of my answers. I have a partner a Femdom Mistress who shares my experiences and assets, as I hers. Also belonging to a couple groups in Europa and Asia. Traveling frequently between the continents. We tend to share information and discuss many of the topics frequently. I will focus on the core items around, training and relationship management for those that are interested.

Experience

I have been involved in the lifestyle since being introduced to it by my father at the age of 13. He was a master in the 50's to 80's but predated the popularity of Gor, and was Pharaonic in nature. I owned my own slaves since my early 20's. I have usually been part of a poly household. For about 6 years three of us ran a BDSM club in Prague until it was "acquired" by the Russian "businessmen". I do not hold any moral taboos about this lifestyle and at one time or another have experience or seen everything imaginable. It is in this absence of mrals that principles, protocols and personal honour must determine the worth of an individual. It is their clear and unwavering adherence to these ethics that make for stauncher things than those which some observance by mere lip service to common morals. When men/women of honour lead, then they do so without malice, without negativity and without thought of personal gain. It only then that they truly attain Dominon over others. Therefore in mastery comes a devotion to duty, and the existence, needs and desires of others that exceeds the submission mere slaves give to the Dominant. A Dominant one must lead, govern, educate and enrich the lives of subjects beign ruled... for otherwise they are but a sycophant and a tyrant. Hedonism and narcissism plays no part in this, it is an apparition that forms from acts done at much higher levels of meaning that mere morally bound persons can not see.

Organizations
I belong to a number of local clubs, and a loose association (not formal) of about 25 masters and mistresses here in Western Europe and Asia who share experiences, training and some exchange trade assets.

Publications
I have not published on BDSM under my name, but contribute frequently to forums. I am consolidating my writings slowly on DarkCastleSin.org for any that are interested in reading.

Education/Credentials
Not relevant although I do have a DCS and DT but I am not Christian so have no moral dilemmas with this lifestyle.

Awards and Honors
Not applicable here, come on in our lifestyle these do not exist but should. When was the last time we had public awards for Worlds Darkest Sadist, World's Most Gifted Shibaru Artist, Worlds Most Diligent Mentor, World's Most Gifted Enthusiast,

Past/Present Clients
Not relevant; private consults remain so.

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