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I have been a slave for about 2 months  I live with my mistress master doesn't yet . we have not heard anything from him in days  I don't know much about all of this but I am learning well , thanks to my mistress . of which I love. is a master suppose to let a slave and a mistress hanging like this and still be able to still be my master? he doesn't call , text or even email. totally ignoring us it seems . I don't know how to live without my master or mistress.i feel like I have been abandoned what do I do about this problem? do I move on look for another master? please help me I seriously need help please reply tyvm , becca

Answer
Becca -

I'm sure you're confused and feeling a bit untethered.

usually, (and there are no hard and fast rules), if a slave is owned by two people they are a "couple". The reason is that it is hard to be obedient to two different people. When they're a couple, presumably they share the same goals and preferences and are working in tandem.

So let's try and take a step back to gain some perspective.

First, are they a couple? If so, his disappearance may be a source of concern beyond your M/s dynamic. Do the authorities need to be contacted?

If they are not a couple, then you should ponder:

1. Do you feel you can serve two different people?
2. Why is service to your Mistress not enough? Do you need a male figure?
3. If you need a Master, who would lead the search - you or your Mistress?
4. (And this one is a bit harsh) why are you so distraught by the disappearance of someone you've been with for less than two months?

Once you've sorted through all this, approach your Mistress and ask of you could talk with her about it. A word of caution: if you are happy in your relationship with her, don't let your emotions over the loss of one relationship cost you a second relationship.

Nest of luck

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Ben Martin

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Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

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Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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