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BDSM/Am I A Submissive?

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QUESTION: I'm 17 years old and I've fantasized about spanking, slapping and pet play since I was five but I don't want to be a full time submissive and I had to break up with someone for the same reason. Is it possible in a BDSM relationship that you're a submissive to your Dominant say Monday to Thursday and a girlfriend to your boyfriend the other days? Does this mean I'm not a real submissive even though I like the idea of total power exchange (only on those days) and bondage? Also, are Dominants superior to their submissives as people?

ANSWER: Eesha,

I would suggest you do more research on being submissive.. You can use submit to someone on these days and be submissive, although if it is a part of you those days won't remain the only times you look for it..

As for Dominants superior to submissive.. No this is not the case. A sub gives her Master power, but this does not make him better than her.. It simply means she has found someone she trust enough to take care of her on so many levels.. You will find a good submissive is a strong person and has no issues standing on her own feet.. Sometimes she might have a better job than her Dom but none the less she wishes to submit so she gives him that power which for the most part others do not understand why she does it ..

And no it does not mean you are not a submissive or a true one for that matter, just means at the moment you are not ready to give up complete control and are learning more about yourself .

Good Luck

Lady Aryana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I want the best of both worlds. I want to be a submissive AND a vanilla girlfriend. Can't I ever have both?

ANSWER: Yes you can, you just need to find someone who you have something in common with outside the bedroom. You need to talk to whomever you get involved with and make sure you both want the same thing lifestyle and relationship wise. You will find you can be submissive to him even outside the bedroom while he is your boyfriend.. It is still a relationship, if you have other things in common, bike riding, video games, cooking, what ever, you will be his other half in the relationship the being submissive is just a bonus.

Take your time and find that one person you match with and enjoy life while exploring your submissive side.

Lady Aryana

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: What is better? BDSM or vanilla?

Answer
I am sorry but I can not answer that for you. Cause what I think if better doesn't mean you will find the same.. And I would not be able to give you a fair response since this is something I do in life/relationships.. Only way to decide for you is to try both and figure out which one makes you the happiest.

Lady Aryana

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Victorian Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Web pages and site for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either D/s or Mistress/slave, or simply learning more in order to help others. I am always reading, either on the net or books.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment. I just moved to Indina with in the last year. I can be found on Fetlife.com as LadyAryana. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me. Slowing I am returning to being active in the community here in Indiana. In the past I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 20+ yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I am semi active in Indiana since moving here, I attend munches and demo's / play parties GRALE, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and and Gorean, I understand that training varies in each relationship so you adjust to what it is you do for the relationship you are in. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

Past/Present Clients
Master, slave, submissive, Tops, and Bottoms. Along with those who simply wanted to learn how to be kinky in the bedroom

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