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BDSM/I need help talking to my spouse about wanting a d/s relationship

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I have tied to talk to my husband about wanting a d/s relationship and I don't seem to be able to tell him exactly what I need.how can I help him understand what I'm sayin? Thanks so much for takin the time to read this.

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Hello there Dena

I understand how hard it is to have these conversations with the ones we love. What i have found is that a lot of times it because we ourselves have not developed the necessary vocabulary.  Might i recommend WWW.Fetlife.com  There are a lot of groups there many of which have connections to real time groups. What this will do is expose you to the language.  In the mean time.

Understanding what you want from your husband begins knowing who you want to be with him. When talking to people with no experience in this area I would try to related it to things he may understand. For example for those who want a more D/s type relationship might relate it to a fifties style relationships. Using terms like authority based relationship or power exchange relationship is a lot easier to understand than Master and slave or Dominance and submissive. Try to fine gentle connective examples of what you like. One of the easiest ways to do this is to first determine what role you want to play.. If its submissive It might help if you understand what that means. If you are wanting to be the dominant partner you will have to do the same.. As you understand more about the role you would like to play in the relationship the easier it  will be to talk with him about it..

I also find that sometimes its easier to show our partners what we want rather than talk about it. One of the easiest ways to begin exercising the D/s is through sex.. get imaginative and try new things in that arena might be one way to spark his interest thus opening the door for further conversation.

I would also recommend, if there is a mutual interest i would look for groups in your area as many have a relationship component as well as a SM component.. Most of these groups are open and friendly and offer education and support especially for those couples who are trying D/s on for the first time..

I do hope this was helpful to you.. Best of luck to you both.

Warmest regards
S. Ziggy  

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ziggy ziegler

Expertise

I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training. My life's focus is assisting individuals to realized their fullest potential through self awareness.

Experience

I am a 51 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983. I have had the distinct privilege of sharing my perspective on the M/s dynamic throughout the US and Canada. I am the owner and producer of ABR Events an authority based relationship organization that provides quality education concerning power dynamic relationships of all kinds, including that of M/s. It is also a honor and privilege to be owned property for the past 13 years. I bring to the table no only my concepts on mastery and slavery but also real time experience.

Organizations
TES MAST ROCHESTER NY (Director) MAsT national ABR Events ( Owner/producer)

Publications
Slave quarters: "The mind body spirit of consensual slavery" Art of slavery Tryscilian society

Education/Credentials
Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.

Awards and Honors
Southeast slave 2006 International slave 2006

Past/Present Clients
Masters and slaves

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