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Question
Hello! I am a 22 year old female sub who very recently got into a Dom/sub relationship.  I have always felt submissive in my intimate relationships and so recently stepping into the Dom/sub dynamic felt pretty natural to me. Even more recently I met a Dom on fetlife. I like him very much. He asked me to be his sub and I happily agreed. I believe he is experienced and knowledgable and he encourages me to learn and ask questions. However he has been ignoring me for the past couple days. I am upset because he is not returning my calls or texts and did this with no warning. I have been following his rules and can't think of anything I may have done to upset him. He said he cares about me as he sub and doesn't just want to be a Dom for sexual reasons. I am unsure how to proceed. I want to tell him this is upsetting me and feels disrespectful while still maintaining my position as his submissive and not loosing my cool. What's your advice? Thanks for your time!

Answer
Katie

Thank you for your question

Not knowing the nature of your relationship (online or real time or the depth of Y/you commitment)  it sounds like he might have other commitments in addition to his commitment with you. I believe in open and honest communication.. Sounds like a respectful but honest letter to him is inorder. If you don't hear back within the week or if you do with no accountability for his absence i would consider the matter closed and move on.  I realize this sounds harsh and maybe unwarranted but part of being a dominant is and equal level of accountability and honesty with you.  Just as surrender and obedience is part of their expectations of us, we too should expect openness, honesty, and accountability.

If surrender is your desired path you deserve to have that valued.  There are those out there who would honor and charish you, just as there are those who do not.. Our struggle is to determine which we want to invest our time and energy into.

Best of luck..

Slave ziggy

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ziggy ziegler

Expertise

I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training. My life's focus is assisting individuals to realized their fullest potential through self awareness.

Experience

I am a 51 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983. I have had the distinct privilege of sharing my perspective on the M/s dynamic throughout the US and Canada. I am the owner and producer of ABR Events an authority based relationship organization that provides quality education concerning power dynamic relationships of all kinds, including that of M/s. It is also a honor and privilege to be owned property for the past 13 years. I bring to the table no only my concepts on mastery and slavery but also real time experience.

Organizations
TES MAST ROCHESTER NY (Director) MAsT national ABR Events ( Owner/producer)

Publications
Slave quarters: "The mind body spirit of consensual slavery" Art of slavery Tryscilian society

Education/Credentials
Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.

Awards and Honors
Southeast slave 2006 International slave 2006

Past/Present Clients
Masters and slaves

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