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QUESTION: I am new to this yet think from all I have read I have found my calling.  I have met a Dom that tells me I am his slave in training yet I feel very neglected.  I know our timing has been bad. A lot has happened in his life and he asked for patience which I have given for most part...few meltdowns ...but when I actually ask for a few moments.. And get no response..I don't know what to do...I think it would all be so different with him if normal circumstances but he has been dealing with a dying father....I understand this he needs too be with his family...but it is hard for me to accept no acknowledgement at all whether it is text or fone...please help me.

ANSWER: Patricia

Thank you for the question

I am not sure as i can help you per say but i can perhaps offer some personal insights

Neglect is one of the most common complaints of submissives. This is often compounded by long distance relationships or online relationships where both parties have a life away from the keyboard. Also where direct contact is not possible for whatever reason. It sounds like you are ready to jump right in with both feet and you have a dominant that has other things he has to focus on..

Few things come time mind/

1. He might not be able to take on a new submissive right now, no matter how much he may want to.
2 You may need more than what he can give. You are a new submissive ( slave takes way more experience than what you have right now)
3. Training is a very hands on and constant process of development.. It is time consuming and requires the attention and investment of both.
4. Often times people will say "you in training" with little understanding of what that means or to make the person feel connected to the dominant partner.

These relationships take time and a good deal of effort on both the dominant partners part as well as the submissives part. It is through consistent interactions that the dynamic develops. Its possible that he is not able to offer you what you need. And he should in deed be focused on his family and those responsibilities.

Personally ( and because you have give little information) i would recommend you get out and meet other submissives, Join a local group and begin learning about the lifestyle, the identity of submission and what is a compatible match for what you need as a person and as a submissive.

This is an exciting time for you and a lot to learn. i would hazard to guess you would do well among those who live this in real time..

best wishes to  you and what you seek

warmest regards
slave ziggy

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: This is not an online situation.. We have met several times n he does take his time n move slowly... Maybe too slowly..lol...I am n intelligent woman n have done my reading n research..I m positive in right situation this is right for me so yes I am read to move forward.he has asked for patience n for me to wait...which I am willing to do but I feel that when I do ask...at the very least n answer or text or fone guidance is not too much to ask..the connection is so important for me...in some form..but I find myself resorting to smart passed remarks from defensiveness at times..been on my own for very long time..I just don't know where to go to find someone to talk to about all this...

Answer
Oh ok so now I have a better view if it.

I can understand needing that connection. And not knowing what to do when you don't get it.  Again I thinking connecting with other submissives in real time for support friendship and guidence is going to be invaluable down the road.  If you are not get what you need now it is not likely to get better for a long time especially if his father is in early stages and when he passes that will take even more time. One thing I can tell you is that you smart ass remarks whether in defense or not will not help you. Infact it will push him away.

Unfortunately you can't make him do what he doesn't have a mind to do so brattiness or manipulation just isn't going to help either of you.  

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ziggy ziegler

Expertise

I am available to answer questions pertaining to the Master slave dynamic. The slaves journey into submission, mentorship, service,leather lifestyle, household management, and training. My life's focus is assisting individuals to realized their fullest potential through self awareness.

Experience

I am a 51 year old female slave who has been part of the BDSM/M/s lifestyle since 1983. I have had the distinct privilege of sharing my perspective on the M/s dynamic throughout the US and Canada. I am the owner and producer of ABR Events an authority based relationship organization that provides quality education concerning power dynamic relationships of all kinds, including that of M/s. It is also a honor and privilege to be owned property for the past 13 years. I bring to the table no only my concepts on mastery and slavery but also real time experience.

Organizations
TES MAST ROCHESTER NY (Director) MAsT national ABR Events ( Owner/producer)

Publications
Slave quarters: "The mind body spirit of consensual slavery" Art of slavery Tryscilian society

Education/Credentials
Aside from learning from lifes experiences i have a BA in psychology and a masters in socialogy. i have studied gender and human sexuality in an ever changing world.

Awards and Honors
Southeast slave 2006 International slave 2006

Past/Present Clients
Masters and slaves

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