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BDSM/Patterns and Insecurities

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Question
The APA dealt with BDSM as a behavioral disorder, and whilst this was recanted, it still is accepted by most psychologists as a disorder. As a student of behavioral psychology, analyzing the repercussions and the complications of the people involved within BDSM, I have come to a conclusion that it is possibly the worst fetish, as it incorporates every sort of wrongness there is, which includes, but is not limited to: consumption of fecal matter, urination, severe flagellation, electrocution and so on. What comes to mind is the NEED for these individuals to do this. What would occur if someone involved in BDSM was deprived of such matters, but was reinforced in a more positive and non-sexual manner. It is quite errant that BDSM could so easily be located and searched by younglings, who could in term be affected and delve into this sorely unhealthy "lifestyle." Pornographic websites invariably include many and rather easily accessible videos that deal with BDSM. Many voluminous websites, which are VERY easily accessible and do not require any form of registration or authentication support, promote and define BDSM and its socially discrepant values.

Answer
Hello, Jack...

The "piss, shit, blood, vomit" contingent is extremely small within our BDSM community.  I've been a national presenter at weekend BDSM conferences since 2007, going out about 10-12x/year and I've only once seen a vomit demo -- and walked out.  Every so often you'll find a cutting demo, but seldom.  These are really extreme fetishes compared to the vast number of choices.

Fetishes, by definition, are things that make one sexually excited.  If you put the entire range of sexually exiting things onto a bell-curve, the items you're mentioning are three standard deviations from the norm.

Nobody dies from having a fetish withheld.  Fetishes are a preference/luxury.  And, many fetishes are best played out in one's mind.

Anyway -- I'm not sure what your question is.

Mostly, BDSM is about finding non-normative ways of connecting with another human being.  Most of BDSM is about relationships.  Sex is part of relationships.  It's nice when your kinks match.

Bob

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Robert Rubel (Dr. Bob)

Expertise

Anything related to BDSM or Master/slave relationships or activities.

Experience

See: www.KinkMastery.com I live 24/7 Master/slave lifestyle and have since 2002 both as Master and slave. My Owner and I present and do "weekend intensives" internationally and at BDSM conferences practically every month.

Organizations
Masters And slaves Together (MAsT) National Leather Association - International (NLA-I) National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF)

Publications
+++ BDSM Mastery—Basics: your guide to play, parties, and scene protocols. +++ BDSM Mastery—Relationships: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives +++ Master/slave Mastery: Updated handbook of concepts, approaches, and practices +++ Master/slave Mastery--Advanced: Refining the fire; ideas that matter +++ Master/slave Mastery--Protocols: Focusing the intent of your relationship +++ Is THAT What They Meant? A book of practical communication insights

Education/Credentials
PhD, Urban Education Policy Studies with a minor in criminology, U of Wisconsin, Madison. EdM, Boston University with specialty in urban education Presented 80+ BDSM weekend conferences worldwide since 2007.

Awards and Honors
Pantheon of Leather Community Choice - Man, 2008

Past/Present Clients
Not applicable.

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