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Question
I'm in a online relationship with a sub and she slept with her ex and didn't have permission. She is a pain slut. So inflicting pain will not work with her. But she is addicted to texting me. So it ends up to be the only way I punish her is to forbid her from contacting me as well as not touching herself sexually in any way. Until her I say after her punishment.


So my question is how long should I punish her for that?

Answer
Will -

I'm not a fan of punishment. My view is it doesn't address the underlying behavior. I find it better to discuss the problem, explore why there was disobedience (acting out, unclear directions, or ??), decide the corrective steps and move on.

I also think that the online nature of your relationship further challenges the value of discipline. If she didn't listen to you about ducking her ex, why do you expect her to comply with a masturbation ban?

I realize I'm not directly answering your question, but I encourage you to spend more time evaluating your relationship and seeing whether/how to fix it than taking cosmetic steps

All the best

Master Ben

BDSM

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Ben Martin

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Questions related to power-based relationships in which decision-making authority is intentionally and consensually transferred -- and the resulting imbalance celebrated. I am able to assist those trying to understand where they fit in, and those seeking to structure and thrive in a power based relationships. Specific topics I am able to discuss include: setting and achieving personal and relationship goals, responsible Mastery, the use of protocols and rituals, communication techniques, and conflict resolution. In addition, I am knowledgable and experienced in polyamory, long-distance relationships, bisexuality and a variety of kinky activities ranging from mind games to sadistic play.

Experience

I have chosen to have a power-based structure in my relationships over the past 18 years. This has included a 16-year M/s relationship, several shorter term D/s relationships and various play partners. I am an active participant in various online forums and seek to provide support and advice to those interested in the Lifestyle.

Organizations
Black Rose

Publications
My writings, insights and discussion contributions are available on Alt.com and FetLife.com. On both websites, my user name is BenMartin

Education/Credentials
I do not hold any credentials specific to BDSM, relying instead on knowledge gained from life experiences, reading and conversing with others in the Lifestyle.

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