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BDSM/Lucky old man with young sub woman

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Question
Hi,
First let me describe the situation.

I'm in my 60's and very healthy and virile, although it doesn't hurt to take the V pill to keep me going. :)  She is 25 and delicious.  She wants pain.  I tie her up and whip her and spank her.  So far I haven't really butt fucked her, although I've used some small plugs, and even they cause her discomfort.  I've barely got the head of my dick in her ass.  But she still wants me to take everything I want whether she screams and tries to get away or not.  I tie her up and gag her with her ass and legs bent over the side of the bed.  I've finally figured out how to keep her from getting away by tying her ankles to the bed posts on each side too, so next time that'll happen.  So there will be no turning to the side or climbing up onto the bed.  She'll be there for me to do what I want.  And she wants it too.

I've tried to understand this Dom/Sub dynamic and even got that book, "Screw the Roses,...etc.", but I still don't really get it.  I am certainly going to do everything to keep her happy, but I would like some additional thoughts/guidance on why some women want this.  

At the same time, I don't neglect her pleasure side of the equation.  I have her cumming with traditional sex as well, so it's not all domination and pain.

So I don't know if this will lead to more questions, but for now my question is really why women like this pain and domination.  Maybe if I understand it better I can punish and dominate her better.

Answer
Hi Sam,

The pathways that connect pain and pleasure, or helplessness and pleasure, or discomfort and pleasure, are often built up over the years and can go very deep into the history of that person as a child. It is sometimes very deep to find all the significant roots of it in a person. However I believe that it is not necessary to know those roots to understand the person and enjoy the experience. With time some of those factors will reveal themselves, usually in a very indirect way.

What is important is that you know how to think like a Dom: You are tuned to what makes her feel great and appreciated, you are paying attention to the physical aspects of it, you are reading books about it.

I just suggest that instead of approaching it trying to find the "WHY" part of it, try to first figure out the "WHAT". Find the boundaries of her acceptance and interests. Find your boundaries as well. Look first for all the information you can use to improve the experience today. Understanding why she is like this is a plus, and it may happen... or not.

Enjoy yourselves!

Khaos

BDSM

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Khaos

Expertise

I can answer questions about techniques in BDSM, especially about bondage. I also have plenty of experience in the psychological aspects of it, dominance, mind control techniques, and erotic hypnosis.

Experience

About 14 years experience as a bondage Dom, kinkster, and swinger.

Publications
I write often for http://KhaosTheory.com and published a book about lifestyle design and sexual dominance.

Education/Credentials
I have been studying psychology, neurosciences, and the applied arts of BDSM for these 14 years I have been in it. Most of it is of very practical application and tested in the field. There are no diplomas on the wall, but consequently I am not bound by the limits and constraints of any medical or educational occupation.

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