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BDSM/I Am Okay with both BDSM and Vanilla

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Question
I would love to be in a vanilla relationship but I also fantasize a lot about  a man taking control of me and dominating and spanking me. There are people who do BDSM because vanilla doesn't suit them and vice versa but for me, I would like both kink and vanilla in my relationship. If I do BDSM, I'll miss vanilla and if I do vanilla, I'll miss BDSM. I want to have both. I don't want to choose between the two lifestyles. What should I do?

Answer
You should have both!

There is no reason not to. All the rules and dynamic of the relationship are set between you and your partner. Make it any way you like, communicate that clearly, and see how it feel. Move forward making the adjusts as necessary. You don't need to fit anyone else's definition of what a relationship should look like.

Go vanilla, and spicy it up with BDSM play when you feel like it.

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Khaos

Expertise

I can answer questions about techniques in BDSM, especially about bondage. I also have plenty of experience in the psychological aspects of it, dominance, mind control techniques, and erotic hypnosis.

Experience

About 14 years experience as a bondage Dom, kinkster, and swinger.

Publications
I write often for http://KhaosTheory.com and published a book about lifestyle design and sexual dominance.

Education/Credentials
I have been studying psychology, neurosciences, and the applied arts of BDSM for these 14 years I have been in it. Most of it is of very practical application and tested in the field. There are no diplomas on the wall, but consequently I am not bound by the limits and constraints of any medical or educational occupation.

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